My Plan For World Domination

If I wanted to take over the world I would do it by cornering the worlds coffee bean market. Then I would withhold coffee until each nation on earth had caved and surrendered to my will. Then I would very carefully dole out the coffee keeping the population of the world just drowsy enough that they would be unable to rise up and over throw my tyrannical rule. Luckily for everyone I think running the world would be far to much work to make this plan at all appealing but don't test me.

Thing I've Named My Pets Vs What I Actually Called Them

Tom (I was only six)-Garfield (Again I was only six)
Princess-Stinky
Dr. Scholls-Doc
Kenny-Puddin belly*, Squishy, Budah, Kennyboo, Boo
Gambit-Mr Handsompants, Gambito
Vladimir-Vladi, Bunny, Meowsers
Blondiebear, Smokey, and Mr. Freckles-The Evil Bunnies

*Sometimes this is what I call Fiona

Spring Has Sprung, The Grass Is Ris, I Wonder Where The Flowers Is

This weekend I was planing to clean our room but the weather was nice so instead I laid in the hammock and read a book. I know that some of the people who read this are in places where it is still cold possibly even snow covered. So I fully sympathise with the fact that some of you are now going to feel the urge to come out here and kick me in the groin when you read the next sentence. I got a sunburn!



My people come from countries that are notoriously cloudy and the people are pale, pasty even. So I burn easily and I know better than to spend more than about 15-20 mins in the sun without sun screen but the laziness that caused me not to clean our room extended to putting on sun screen too. So currently my skin is a splotchy combination of the only two colors it is capable of, paper white and bright red.



So see I've been punished. You don't need to kick me in sensitive body parts but if you'd like to come visit I'll get Dave to light up the barbecue and you can poke at my red arms while we sip refreshing beverages.

Saturday Dave gave Fiona an orange off the tree in our backyard. Two minutes after this picture was taken he had to hose her off, with an actual hose.

Sunday we went to a birthday party for our friends 1 year old. Didn't she look cute? Latter I stupidly gave her two strawberries and this dress looked like she'd committed a brutal murder. Luckily Shout gets everything out so the dress will live.

BTW the title of this post is a quote but I'm not sure from where or I'd give credit. I think it may have been a comic strip.

Over Breakfast

Conversation while eating the french toast Dave made out of the sourdough bread he made from scratch. Seriously how awesome is he?



Me: You know if I ever get fat it's going to be you're fault.



Dave: (Pause) Because I don't walk you enough?



Me: (laughing) yes.

Just So You All Know

I'm having kinda an awesome day and you know why? Because the Internet is full of cool people. Sure there are some crazy people out there too but you find a few of them in every barrel of apples. I have met some fun and funny people doing this and ya know what I can always use some more friends. I love you guys!

Um yeah and it's not the wine talking. I'm not even buzzed.

I Heart Sunshine

The weather is going to be nice this weekend. You know what this means? My One woman show IS ON!

What I Love About Camping

#1. Not showering for 3 days. It's not so much the being dirty part I enjoy it's the fact that when I do get to take a shower it's so much more satisfying than usual. Cummon washing off a light sheen of perspiration or washing off a head to toe dirt tan that actually requires a scrub brush to completely remove? Dirt tan all the way baby!

#2. (And this is my actual point) The lost art of conversation. There is no tv you have to actually talk to the people your with, or sometimes people you just met in the next camp site. And a lot of the time it's the sort of topics I like to bring up here. For example a conversation might go something like this.

1st person: I just saw (insert movie title here)

2nd person: I saw that. It was (insert good or bad comment)

3rd person: Really? I thought it was (insert opposing opinion)

2nd person: You know what movie I (loved/hatted)? (insert different movie title)

1st person : I read that book. I thought the movie was.......

you get the idea

It's not always as simple as a debate over movies it might be a discussion of some current event or telling stories of trouble we got in to as kids. I'm always pleased to discover that we don't run out of things to say to each other. And as long as you may have known these people, whether they're family or friends you get a new insight in to the workings of their minds.

I miss camping. We haven't gone since before I was pregnant and I imagine it will be somewhat different with kids. There will probably be less alcohol and some of the more R rated stories will need to wait until they are asleep but the conversation will continue. That makes me happy.

A Small Explanation

I frequently refer to my pet rabbits as The Evil Bunnies. It's occurred to me that most of the people who read this probably don't understand how any one can dislike cute little fluffy bunnies. Yeah well you haven't met them.

Lets start with the fact that despite being small and cute they are brutal. Smokey has done more damage to me than any cat I've ever had and this includes the story I told here. That however I could forgive since he only did it out of fear.

They actually destroyed an entire room, a chaise, a lamp, a set of book shelves, two speakers, and the carpet (to be fair the carpet wasn't in very good shape any way). And again I forgave them as I feel it was my own darn fault for attempting to keep them indoors as all the rabbit literature said I should. We moved them in to the back yard and now that I've given up trying to keep them in their hutch we are all happy with the arrangement.

Nope the damage to my home doesn't really bother me any more it's the books. I love to read and re read. When I read a good book it's like finding a world I want to live in and I'm disappointed when I have to leave. So having my books ruined was a little like finding out a friend had died. I can't forgive them for this. I would never hurt an animal so they will be allowed to live their little bunny lives in peace but I'm not at all sad that said lives are approximately half way over.

The Carnage (the ones I can remember):

Les Miserable
Memoirs of a Geisha
Various Agatha Christies (hard back matched set)
Forgotten English
A book about wedding planing (I've forgotten the name but it was a gift)
All my hard back Stephen King's (about 20)
The Haunting
A Dictionary
A Thesaurus
The Case Book of Forensic Science*
6 by Seuse
Several Books by Edward Gorey
The Calvin & Hobs boxed set
Watership Down (ironic no?)



*Interestingly on at lease 2 episodes of Forensic Files the owning of this book was considered incriminating so I guess they did me a favor if I'm ever accused or Murder.

The Best Concerts I've Ever Been to

Pantera
The Ramones
Huey Lewis and the News
Chris Isaak
Barry Manilow

Judge me if you want but I've been to a lot of concerts and the best ones to me haven't necessarily been my favorite music but those who put on a good show.

A Few Things I'm Thinking This Morning

When will my cough go away?

I'd like to move.

I'm hungry.

Where is the second mortgage bill?

I wish I could pull off lipstick

Did I lock the house?

When will my package arrive?

I hope Fiona's okay.

Starbucks or Clauds?

I'm sooo tired.

I need a gift bag for Sunday

I hope Grandpa won't serve ham on Easter

What could she have eaten?

Perhaps This is Why I am Not a Fan of the Sandwich

Subway had an add campaign for a while where they were trying to call their sandwiches "Yum rockets". Quiznoz is now trying to use the phrase "Tasty Torpedoes". Perhaps I just have a dirty mind but these phrases seem to me to be euphemisms for something I wouldn't want to be seen purchasing. Things that would be shipped to your house in a "discreet" brown wrapper if you ordered them on line if ya know what I mean.

Demonstrating My Extensive Knowledge of Sports

Why do we call it a boxing ring when it's square?

Note to My Daughter

Dear Fiona,
I know you like goldfish but you don't need to put them ALL in your mouth at once. Try chewing and swallowing then there will be room for more. Just a little suggestion from your Mama.
XoXo

Thing I Could Be Doing This Weekend If It Wasn't Raining

Yard work-Currently the only thing growing in my planters is a garden of cat poop. It's not even from my cat, not that that would be any better.

Taking Pictures for this blog-Really now don't you think a few pictures would spruce the place up. And how many pictures of the inside of my house does any one want to see?

Barbecuing-Okay it would actually be Dave doing this but I would enjoy eating the food and appreciate his manly cooking skills.

Sky diving-Would I actually do this? No of coarse not, I'm afraid of heights. But I could be doing it if the skies were clear.

Do a Rain Dance-Again would I do this? No, but there's not even a point in doing it if it is already raining.

Sidewalk chalk drawings- This is a tree, and this is a house, and this is a kitty....

Wash the Dogs-Stinky, stinky dogs! I can't do this when it's wet out because then their fur doesn't dry, especially Gambit. Then the house smells like wet dog. I tried blow drying them once, that was a bad plan.

People watching-This is much less interesting in your own home, It's hard to wildly speculate about people you already know really well.

Teach the cat to walk on a leash-Okay technically I could do this in doors but what's the point of doing something stupid if no one gets to see you do it. (Yeah I know some people really do walk their cat's but I know Vladi and he's not gonna want to do that)

Put on a one woman show on my front lawn-I have many wigs and costumes it'd be great.

Overheard

"Isn't Pensacola like a city or a state?"

Wow um yeah. I'm not even going to comment on that one. If you don't know what's wrong with that question you're part of the problem sorry.

1984 by George Orwell

Well I finished 1984 last night. As I promised here this is what I thought of it.

It was hard to read. I'm quite proud that I completed it. It's not that long but it took me 3 weeks to finish. I'm not sure if it was good, I can't say I enjoyed it.

I think it was well written but the style was hard to get through at least for me.It was very interesting and a little scary considering how easy it would be for some of these things to actually happen (to be honest it appears that some ARE happening). I think it's a good book to have knowledge of but I don't think I will be re reading it any time soon.

Next I think I'll read something purely for entertainment. Then I'm going to tackle Animal Farm. I actually read Animal Farm in Jr. High but I think I might get more out of it now. I'll let you know how it goes.

Diet Still A Problem

I Love butter. I'd probably give up chocolate before I gave up butter. This is not helpful to my figure.

I.M. Conversation With Also Sick Co-Worker/Friend

CW/F: Are you coming to the lunch room to eat?

Me: I guess so. I don't really have much of an appetite.

CW/F: Me either.

Me: I'll tell you what, how about I meet you down there and we can stare at our food together.

CW/F: Okay good plan.

Ode To My Sinuses

I am ill
I don't feel well
I'm cold and achy
as all can tell
I cough, I sneeze, I hack, I wheeze
It hurts my heart that I can't kiss my daughter
And the stupid cat keeps drinking my watter

Stalking Etiquette

I joined Facebook about a month ago. A few days ago I was looking at the members of my high school graduating class to see if there was any one I should add. One of the people I found was a girl I had been friendly with. We had a few classes together and were on good terms but didn't really socialize outside of class. I heard it through the grapevine that she married my very first boyfriend ever.

It's been nearly twenty years and I wish them nothing but happiness but, I have the irresistible urge to add her as a friend just so I can look at her profile. Is that weird? I'm just so curious. I probably shouldn't hu?

Happy St. Patrick's Day

It's sort of a family photo, Dave doesn't have a Kiss me I'm Irish shirt but he did take the photo.

More Nightmares

In order to understand why this was a nightmare you have to grasp that my last job was so terrible (at least for me) that I had recurring serious stomach problems, lost huge amounts of weight, and wound up on anxiety medication while I worked there. Also although I can't prove it I'm pretty sure it contributed to my miscarriage. This job was hell. I'm still getting over the damage it did to my psyche although my physical health problems are gone and I'm not on medication any more. It wasn't a bad company and for someone else that job may be great but it was very much the wrong one for me.

Last night I dreamed that I was back at my last job, working with the woman who was the reason I finally left. She kept asking me questions and giving me instructions but every time I tried to respond or do the job she'd interrupt to tell me I was wrong and give me a whole new set of instructions or questions. The whole time this was going on my Brother in Law was going through my purse (which he would never do) and pulling out embarrassing things I would never actually have in there and handing them to Barney from How I met you Mother who would then say witty but embarrassing things about them.

Needless to say I'm tired although strangely in a good mood. Perhaps I'm just relieved it turned out not to be real.

Yeah Uh Hu Right

Conversation with the Sommelier (Wine Steward) when we went out to dinner to celebrate Daves birthday.

Sommelier: (re Fiona) How old is she, eight or nine months?

Me: Fourteen, Fifteen next week.

Sommelier: My son just turned seven months and he's as big as she is.

Dave: Really?

Me: (trying to keep the disbelief out of my voice) Wow and she's big for her age (seriously she's been at the top of the chart or off it since her very first check up, not braging just sayin')

Sommelier: We call him Gigantor.

Dave and I nod politely while thinking

Dave: Bulls**t!

Me: There is no way your kid's that big and if he is ya might want to have a Dr. take a look at him.

I hate people who compare babies. I'm sure your kid is awesome but you need to accept the reality that he/she is not actually better, larger, smarter, or more talented than all other babies.

But They're So Cute

Why was I having a nightmare about Ferrets?

Man Points

Recently I've wound up in several conversations about man points. If you don't know what man points are let me explain. They are the credits for performing some task that determine whether someone is a man. For example you get man points for opening a jar your significant other couldn't get open.

Interestingly I Googled man points (because I'm like that) and all the hits I found were specifically points awarded by one man to another. That's all well and good but it doesn't matter how cool your friends think you are if the opposite sex doesn't think your a man.

Every woman I know has a few things they just feel the man should do (take out the garbage is one I hear a lot, although that one doesn't really bother me). There is no actual number you need to earn but you want to earn more positive points than you loose.

Note: There are woman points too. For example I earn some of mine by sowing buttons back on Dave's clothes when they fall off. You should have seen him the first time I did it, it was like I'd performed magic.

So here's a list of some of the things I think will earn/loose you points. Feel free to add your own. I love hearing other people's ideas.

Note 2: This list isn't for Dave's benefit. He already knows my criteria and lives up to them in every particular.

Things that will earn you man points (these are pretty much expected)

1. Barbecue. I know lots of women who do this but I'm not one of em. My Mom doesn't barbecue and neither do I. I'm sure my Dad would have taught me if I'd asked but I married Dave instead. Lets face it food you didn't cook always tastes better.

2. Changing a tire. Dave once got up at 4:30 am and changed my tire in the rain without complaining even once.

3. Chores that require power tools. Sure I could probably do these myself but it's like barbecuing. I really want you to do it.

Things that will loose you man points

1.Failing to defend your loved ones. I'm not saying you need to get yourself killed but if for example someone breaks in to your house and you run off and leave your wife, child, girlfriend, parent, sibling, roommate, or drunk friend sleeping on your couch to be hurt you loose every man point you've ever earned and go so far in the negative you will not be able to crawl out again. You'd be surprised how often this comes up when we're watching the news.

2. Not taking your share of the parent duties. Whether we're talking dead beat dad's or just that guy (we've all met) who consistently ignores his child to watch the game or go out with his buddies. Sorry you made a kid, like it or not what you want is no longer top priority. (Just to reiterate this is NOT Dave, he's a great Dad)

3. General poserness. You know that Offspring song Pretty Fly for a White Guy? Yeah that guy and others like him. Embrace who you are, if you're trying to hard to be what your not the best result you can hope for is that people will wait for you to be out of earshot before they laugh at you.

For No Reason

Yikes!

So with all your lovely encouragement I decided to do some more research on curly fries. In other words I googled and the answer was boring and prosaic. Apparently there is a special cutting tool and yes they waste a lot.

However Google didn't completely fail me, here are 3 answers that cracked me up. Sadly they were anonymous so I can't give credit to the people who said them.

#1. I grew up sort of rustic in the backwoods of Western New York and this is how we always did curly fries:
Step 1. Find your Mama's or Sister's curling iron...if it is good enough for hair it is good enough for taters.
Step 2. Fish out your best jack knife from your pockets and find some taters. Cut in a circular motion around the taters. When you feel you have enough spirals, arrange them around the curling iron and fire that sucker up. They will naturally curl around the device much as hair does.
Step 3. Repeat previous steps until the desired amount of curly fries is achieved.
Step 4. Now is the time to use that coffee can of bacon grease you have been saving. Measure out half a can into your biggest cast iron fry pan and fire it up till it bubbles. .
Step 5. Throw all the taters in and bubble up till crispy. Well, that's how us country folk used to do it in Western New York, but if you feel you have to invest in fancy machines and such go right ahead. I reckon I come from a simpler time. Ahem... I do admit my tongue was very much in cheek here, but I simply could not resist

#2. All fries are naturally curly, companies use hair gel to straighten them.

#3. They are actually the tails of pigs.

I also likes Roses idea of continuing my research by eating curly fries while turning the opposite direction.

Starchy Goodness

How do they make curly fries? Do they actually cut them in a spiral? I'd think that would waste a lot. Is there some sort of potato curling device? Hmmm.

Happy Birthday Dave

I suppose we're old now but I always see you like this.

Spam

Our router broke at home so we weren't able to get to email since Sunday (Dave is so super cool that he has his own email server). Dave fixed it last night, and this morning I had a ton of email. Some good stuff from friends and family and some useless stuff like notification that Netflix sent me some DVD's I received last night. But two clearly important ones that will solve ALL my financial woes.

#1 some guy I've never heard of in Columbia is holding a check for me all I have to do is email him my banking information.

#2. I won the lottery in Spain. I'm particularly excited about this one since I didn't enter so it was a pleasant surprise.

Partial List of Songs That Have Meanings for Me

As you may or may not have picked up I love music and have eclectic taste. Today I thought I'd expand a bit on why I love some songs. Feel free to tell me some of your favorites and why in the comments.

Roxane-The Police = I have a very specific memory about singing this song with friends while stuck in a car on the Golden Gate bridge on our way to a Pantera Concert at the Warfield. For some reason this memory to me perfectly captured the good parts of being a teenager and what I loved about those friends, most of whom I've lost touch with.

It Hurts to Be in Love-Gene Pitney = This one my Mom, brother, and I used to sing in my Moms old truck. She had a tape (yep cassette) she made that had a bunch of great songs on it that we'd sing but when I hear this one I can actually smell that stupid truck.

Runaway-Del Shannon = This one was also on Mom's tape but my brother and I used to sing it together at home. We'd harmonize and originally he sang the high part and I sang the low but then he hit puberty and we had to switch.

I'm In Love With The Big Blue Frog-Peter, Paul, and Mary = I used to sing this to my friend Nugget in PE in High School. All my PE memories involve Nugget ; cutting class, tickling Ralph until he drooped the basketball, walking back and forth up the field during football to pretend we were participating. Nugget also used to sing Knocking the Boots to Me in Algebra in 8th grade but I never hear that one anymore.

Blood Sugar Sex Magic-The Red Hot Chili Peppers (whole album) = This album reminds me of going to Mexico with my oldest friend (who by the way was the driver during the Roxane moment). I've got lots of songs that make me think of her but this album more than anything else.

Rocky Raccoon-The Beatles = I've got 2 for this one. My Mom used to sing it to my brother in the bathtub when he was a baby and one of my friends used to ask me to sing it when we went camping. I joke that if I ever record an album (long shot I know) I'll dedicate it to him and my sister in law (AB) because they are the only people who ever ask me to sing.

These next 3 all remind me of Dave

The Way You Look Tonight-doesn't matter which recording = This was the song we used for our first dance at our wedding. Sure I picked it but it was still a landmark moment for me.

Lets Get It On-Marvin Gaye = This is actually our song. Not for any good reason it's just one of the only songs he'll get up and dance with me to if it comes on also at one point it was stuck in his head so he kept singing it and I found that amusing. For obvious reasons it wasn't appropriate to use as our first dance. Hence the above choice.

What Would Brian Boytano Do-South Park = Sorry I'm not telling this one. There's a great but completely embarrassing story as to why I blush every time I ever hear this.

Ewww

I'm the first to admit that I'm not much of a house keeper. Dave and I are both kinda slobs and we're busy doing other things like going to work and raising our daughter so our house is frequently embarrassing.

Coming from me then it's quite the insult to say that my office is dirty. I don't mean my cube, I mean the whole floor. Do they ever vacuum? I have a few items of clothing that shed sequins or fuzz and leave a sort of Hansel and Gretel trail of where I've been. There is evidence still on the carpet of not only the sweater I wore last Thursday but one of my Maternity shirts.

Payback is Me

This is Mr. Freckles. He is a butt head and picks on Blondiebear who is the smallest of the bunnies. As he's really really fast and I can't catch him to stop him or try to punish him I'm going with public humiliation. Sure he's a rabbit and does not have Internet access but it makes me feel better also I gave Blondiebear a carrot and stood over him so Freckles and his sidekick Smokey couldn't take it away. Bet ya didn't know there was so much drama in bunny culture.

Strategy

Dave: Aw crap! _______is gonna be there.

Me: So? Were we planing on being snarky about him?

Dave: No plans but I like to keep my options open.

Me: Ah well if you want you can say rude things about him to me. Then you'll be protected by spousal privilege.

Note: The name is being withheld to protect the innocent (us) but rest assured it's not someone any of you are likely to know.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!

Recently I've been reading this hilarious site called Not always right about the truly stupid conversations you sometimes have with customers. I even sent them a couple absolutely true ones that happened to me. So I went to check it out today & low and behold it's one of my stories. So check it out 'cause #1 it's an incredibly funny site and #2 I'm freaking famous! By the way this was not a story from my current job. I've got a couple good ones but I know better than to put them on line.

Here's the link.

Overheard on the Train Last Night

Passenger 1: This Hummus isn't very good.

Passenger 2: You ordered Hummus on Amtrak, what were you expecting?


You go passenger 2. Get down with your bad self.

Guess What I'm Craving

I like M&M's. They're brightly colored and I enjoy the festive colors for holidays. However I really only eat the peanut ones which usually don't come all decked out to celebrate the seasons.

Speaking of peanuts and chocolate, I know it's blasphemy but I'm not really a big fan of Snickers. I'll eat one if someone gives it to me and occasionally I even get a craving for one but I prefer Milky Way (which I guess is a Mars bar in Brittan). Unfortunately they've decided to add extra carmel which throws the flavor ratios all out of whack.

I don't like Butterfinger. I like chocolate and peanut butter but that hard orange flaky stuff bears no relation to peanut butter. I'm not opposed to fake peanut butter as a whole. I enjoy Reese's Peanut butter cups even though that stuff doesn't really qualify as peanut butter either. I only like the traditional peanut butter cups though when you get in to the holiday shapes or the inside out ones the chocolate to (fake)peanut butter ratio is all wrong.

Twix originally only came in peanut butter flavor and it was not a hit. Once the carmel flavor came out they phased out the peanut butter ones but they've brought them back and I'm told they're pretty good, perhaps they changed the formula.

Three Musketeers used to be my favorite but now I prefer a more complex flavor. They are still pretty good frozen particularly when paired with popcorn or something else salty.

You can't go wrong with a classic Hershey bar but if given the choice I'll take the one with Almonds. This is also my feeling on the kiss from the same manufacturer. For some reason I really like Hershey's almond kisses with ginger ail.

Let's see what else....I like the Dove promises. They're tasty chocolate and you get little humorous words of wisdom that remind me of fortune cookies. But only the milk chocolate kind. I don't like dark chocolate. I'm the same way with coffee, little sugar LOTS of cream.

Clearly these are just my feelings. That's the fabulous thing about candy there are so many kinds to choose from.

I'm supposed to be on a diet

Oh Icee you artificially colored temptress, why must you lure me in with your fake cherry goodness?

Et tu popcorn?

Pass the Kleenex

I have to admit that I'm a big softy. I cry pretty easily. Those Gap commercials at Christmas with the cute babies I mist up. A news story about a dog being rescued from a burning building yeah my make up is ruined. Don't even get me started on "I'll be home for Christmas".

Of coarse this means I cry at movies but not always the ones you'd expect. Some movies try to hard to be sentimental like Pay it forward or Beaches. I cried the first time I saw Titanic but now I just say "Oh that's sad. Where are my crackers?"

Disney is a repeat offender. I think they are kinda evil. Why do you want to make little children cry Disney? Yes Bambi gets me, although it's not the bang of the gun it's when Bambi says, "mother?". Then they pulled the same trick in Finding Nemo (yes it's Pixar but it's still Disney)and the Lion King. By the way did anyone else notice that the Lion King is Hamlet?

Stand By Me gets me every time but I think a big part of that is about River Phoenix.

The King and I kills me which is odd since I hate Rogers and Hamerstein but the chemistry between Deborah Kerr and Yule Brenner is amazing.

I cry at the end of the Muppet Movie every time. I was embarrassed to find out this was still true recently. That one's more happy tears though, "Life's like a movie, Write your own ending, Keep believing, keep pretending.....". Sad I know.

The #1 movie that makes me cry though is Charlotte's Web. This was my favorite movie when I was a kid. I called it Wilbur (it's about the pig after all). It's odd since as I think I made clear here I hate spiders, but for whatever reason this one dying breaks my heart.

I'm Sorry They're Incapacitated. Can I Take a Message?

About 10 years ago I was a receptionist in a very small office (7 people). My bosses were really great and would take everyone out to lunch any time there was an excuse to celebrate. Once we all went to a Mexican restaurant for someones birthday and wound up ordering pitchers of Margaritas. I'm not a fan of Margaritas and I don't feel comfortable drinking when I have to go back to work so I was the only person who didn't have any. One unfortunate side effect of drinking is after you get a buzz more alcohol seems like a really good idea so they just kept ordering pitchers. Once we finally returned to the office I had to spend the rest of the afternoon lying to the callers stating that the person they wanted to reach was not available.

Which is Better #1 or #2

Have my eyes started deteriorating more since I got glasses? The headaches are back. Maybe it is a tumor.