Sunday, May 24, 2015

Imagination is the true magic carpet.-Norman Vincent Peale

We were watching a movie where some one gets turned in to a cat

Me: Why is she all mad? I totally want to be a cat. What is the formula for this potion?

Fiona: It's easy.

Me: Really do you know the formula?

Fiona: You need some cat hair.

Me: Okay I can get that easy.

Fiona: And you need some cat litter.

Me: I can get that...wait does it need to be used?

Fiona: You don't need to drink it, just put it on your head.

Me: Okay what else?

Fiona: You need some of your cat's teeth.

Me: Oh that's the hard part, but I bet I can get that.

Fiona; You just wait until your cat looses a tooth and then you use it.

Me: Okay, what else?

Fiona: And then you need something to make your nose wet like face paint.

Me: I can do that I've got Vaseline.

Fiona: No something like face paint.

Me: Okay I may have to wait for halloween but I can get that. Then what?

Fiona: You need some hair from your cat's tail.

Me: Alright, I can get that.

Fiona: And then that's it.

Me That's it?

Fiona: Yeah.

Me: Awesome! I can do all that. I'll totally be a cat by morning!

Fiona: I don't know if any of that will work?

Me: Really?

Fiona:Yeah!

Me: Awwwwww.


Saturday, May 23, 2015

A sister is both your mirror - and your opposite.-Elizabeth Fishel

Me: Fiona are you playing fetch with your sister?

Fiona: No she keeps bringing me that stupid bottle and I don't want is so I throw it.

Me: Honey do you think anyone has ever wanted the stick the dog keeps bringing back? That's fetch.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said.-Peter Drucker

Fiona was trying to explain something she saw in a movie.

Fiona: You know how some people put a yak on the ceiling?

Me: (Completely baffled) No?

Fiona: I mean not the ceiling the wall.

Me: (Still totally confused) I....what?

Fiona: Like the head with the (makes bunny ears gesture).

Me: Ooooohhhh you mean a mounted dear or moose head.

Fiona: Yeah.

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love.-Michele de Montaigne

Dave was singing a song of his own devising. Pretty much the only lyrics we're the words "butt hole". Fiona was laughing uncontrollably. I walked over to her, took her face in my hands, looked deep in her eyes and said, " I married that man."

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Babies don't need fathers, but mothers do. Someone who is taking care of a baby needs to be taken care of.-Amy Heckerling

Do you know what Daphne gave me for Mothers Day?

The stomach flu.

Thanks sweetie. You shouldn't have.


Saturday, April 25, 2015

You ever look for the remote control and can't find it, so you just decide, 'Ah, it looks like I'm not watching tv.'-Jim Gaffigan

Television remotes need to have a page option like phone handsets have.


Also we need to stop letting Fiona control the clicker.


I wish I could turn on the tv :(

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing.-Johnny Depp

I think I was 11 or 12 the first time a dentist said I should get my wisdom teeth out. I know for sure they said so when I was 17 and getting braces. Aaaaaand again in my 20's when I got my very own dental insurance for the first time. But they didn't hurt and they weren't bothering me so it got put off.

About a month before Daphne was born I broke a tooth in my sleep (seriously how did that happen?). Luckily it turned out to be one of my wisdom teeth and dead so it didn't hurt but it also meant it was time to get them out. Unfortunately being 9 mos pregnant that meant waiting again. I had intended to get them out while I was on maternity leave but we wound up buying a house instead, so again I waited.

Today however my waiting ended. All 4 out. Minutes before they started the Dr. warned me that one of them was situated in a way that potentially could cause nerve damage (1-5% of people). Now that it's stopped bleeding (Ewwwwww so much blood! Seriously ewwwwwww) and the numbness has mostly worn off it's not so bad. My mouth's a little gross but not very painful (fairly awesome drugs). I even ate a pudding cup, it took about 40 minutes but I am less starving now.

I've been watching movies all day. Dave's going to bring me home soup for dinner. I've had worse days.