Saturday, December 31, 2016

Some are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together.-Pearl S. Buck

This morning in the produce department at the grocery store.

Daphne: Rapunzel Mamma mean.

Me: Yes she is mean but that's not her real Mamma. I'm sure her real Mamma was nice.

Daphne: Yeah Mamma nice

Me: Am I a nice Mamma?

Daphne: NOOOOO!

A lady stocking produce began laughing uncontrollably.

Produce stocker: I'm so sorry that caught me off guard.

Me: (also laughing) It's okay. If she'd said yes that'd mean I'm not doing my job right.

Produce stocker: True. (still laughing) That made my day.

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Family is the most important thing in the world.-Princess Diana

Daphne: I love you Mamma.

Me: I love you too baby.

Daphne: I love you ten!

Me: Ten? Wow that's a lot.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy?-Albert Einstein

Why did we name it "grapefruit"? We already have a fruit called "grapes" and they don't even remotely look or taste the same.

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Wonder pets, wonder pets were on our way.-Wonder pets theme song

You can tell the other parents.

A co-worker came in to ask my office mate a question when the phone rang.

Co-worker: The phone! The phone is ringing.

Me: The phone! we'll be right there!

Office mate: What was that?

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Hangin' tough, stayin' hungry-Eye of the Tiger by Survivor

I was teaching Fiona to cook. She was trying to use the can opener which is kinda tuff.

Me: Hey you're doing great almost half way around. Go Fona go! (Singing) It's the eye of the Tiger. It's the thrill of the fight something something I don't know the words to this sooooong. But this is what you sing when something is tuff. And I'm watching you open the caaaaaaan of tomatoes.

She made really good Spaghetti sauce. Not sure if I'm more proud of that or my song.

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Color can do anything that black and white can.-Vincent Minelli

Daphne: These two are friends 

Me: Those colored pencils are friends?

Daphne: Yeah 

Me: Well it's always good when pencils can accept pencils of another color 

Fiona: Yeah like all the yellow ones used to fight the all the blue ones.

Me: There were a lot of casualties in the yellow and blue wars. It was a dark time. 

My family is weird.

Friday, July 1, 2016

I have had dreams and I have had nightmares, but I have conquered my nightmares because of my dreams.-Jonas Salk

I had such odd dreams last night...Do you ever have anxiety dreams? I've had lots recently. Mine are usually relatively mundane things I am trying to do but keep running in to obstacles. The other night I had one in which I'm pretty sure all I was trying to do was put Daphne's shoes on but it was REALLY REALLY difficult.

Last night I dreamt I was in Petaluma for some "business" purpose and I needed to get home to Novato (I haven't lived there in 15 years but apparently to my subconscious that is still "home"). I didn't have a car so I tried to take a taxi but the taxi driver told me it was too far and I'd never get a taxi to take me (FYI these two cities are next door to each other and the drive takes about 15 minutes). So I went around the corner to figure out what I should do and suddenly instead of Petaluma I was in New Orleans (now the cab drivers objection makes way more sense). So I saw a train station and thought I'd just take a train home in the morning (I'm not 100% sure about New Orleans but I know for certain that there is no train station in Novato).  I decided to go the the hotel we usually stay in when we are in New Orleans and see if I could get a room for the night. The "train station" was just down the street (in the middle of the freaking French Quarter) so I walked to the hotel but somehow managed to enter on the top floor and had to make my way down to the lobby. I can't clearly remember all the adventures I had while traversing this hotel but I do remember at one point thinking that it was a "plot hole" that I was no longer carrying a bag.  I eventually made it to the lobby and tried to check in when some rude lady comes up and starts  talking to the front desk clerk in Italian. She and the clerk continued to ignore me for several minutes until I got pissed and pushed her face away while telling her to "shut up". Not sure if I ever got a room because then I started dreaming about the owner of my company criticizing my choice of dish soap...

I woke exhausted.