Wednesday, January 21, 2015

What exactly makes it "Fancy"?

Saturday, January 17, 2015

The scientist is motivated primarily by curiosity and a desire for truth.-Irving Langmuir

Fiona: Is the Earth upside down right now?

Me: What?

Fiona: The Earth is it upside down?

Me: Oh no sweetie. The Earth is never really upside down it's just that it spins like this (Makes spinning basketball gesture) and sometimes we are facing the Sun and sometimes we are facing the Moon. When we face the Sun it's daytime and when we face the Moon it's night.

Fiona: But sometimes. Pretend I'm the Earth and the Sun is here and the Moon is here (makes unclear gesture but I speak Fona so it's clear to me).

Me: Oh well okay....Here it's like this (grabs item off counter).

Fiona: A baby bottle?

Me: Pretend this is the sun (bottle) and this is the Earth (soda can) and this is the moon (can of vienna sausages). See the Earth is spinning (twists can) but while it's spinning it's going around the Sun (spin  and circle baby bottle). Okay?

Fiona: Yeah!

Me: Okay yeah but while the Earth is spinning and going around the Sun the Moon (adds vienna sausage can) spins and goes around the Earth (makes everything spin and circle in complicated counter item dance). So that's why (stops when baby bottle and vienna sausages are next to each other in front of soda can) sometimes you can see the Sun and the Moon at the same time.

Fiona: (Huge impressed eyes) Wow! It's like you took Science!

Me: It is like I took Science isn't it?

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

I don't dislike babies, though I think very young ones rather disgusting.-Queen Victoria

Watching a commercial for some celebrity endorsed face cream (Don't remember what it was called, let's just call it Goo).

Dave: Do you want some Goo baby Daphne? We're gonna buy some Goo for your booty.

Me: I don't think her butt needs it. It is after all what skin is compared too when saying it is nice.

Dave: That's true little baby. They say like a baby's butt. Isn't that exciting, your butt is the standard for facial beauty!

Sunday, January 4, 2015

Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt.-Baby Got Back by Sir Mix a Lot

Fiona: Remember that part when Cinderella's step sisters walk away and their butts were all boing boing boing?

Me: That wasn't really their butts. It was a part of their dresses called a bustle.

Fiona: What?

Me: It was a fashion at one time. I guess they wanted to look like they had big butts.

Fiona: That's stupid.

Me: Yeah but Sir Mix A Lot would approve.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage-Erma Bombeck

Me: Hey Fona bona, is there anything special you're hoping for besides the things you told Santa?

Fiona: Just those.

Me: So any thing else you get is just gravy?

Fiona: (look of horror)!

Me: No no! Not actual gravy.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

There is an innocence in admiration; it is found in those to whom it has never yet occurred that they, too, might be admired some day.-Friedrich Nietzsche

Fiona and I were singing Christmas songs while I made the girls breakfast.

Fiona: I think you should be a movie star.

Me: What?

Fiona: You should be a movie star Mama.

Me: (laughing) What makes you say that?

Fiona: 'Cause your a real good singer.

Me: *blink blink* I think that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me. (kisses her on the head)

She's not turning out too bad. Happy 7th birthday baby girl!

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware-Martin Buber

He: My buddy once spent a year walking across China.

She: My oldest couch surfed across Europe.

Me: I once got off at the wrong bus stop and had to walk back.