Friday, March 13, 2009

Man Points

Recently I've wound up in several conversations about man points. If you don't know what man points are let me explain. They are the credits for performing some task that determine whether someone is a man. For example you get man points for opening a jar your significant other couldn't get open.

Interestingly I Googled man points (because I'm like that) and all the hits I found were specifically points awarded by one man to another. That's all well and good but it doesn't matter how cool your friends think you are if the opposite sex doesn't think your a man.

Every woman I know has a few things they just feel the man should do (take out the garbage is one I hear a lot, although that one doesn't really bother me). There is no actual number you need to earn but you want to earn more positive points than you loose.

Note: There are woman points too. For example I earn some of mine by sowing buttons back on Dave's clothes when they fall off. You should have seen him the first time I did it, it was like I'd performed magic.

So here's a list of some of the things I think will earn/loose you points. Feel free to add your own. I love hearing other people's ideas.

Note 2: This list isn't for Dave's benefit. He already knows my criteria and lives up to them in every particular.

Things that will earn you man points (these are pretty much expected)

1. Barbecue. I know lots of women who do this but I'm not one of em. My Mom doesn't barbecue and neither do I. I'm sure my Dad would have taught me if I'd asked but I married Dave instead. Lets face it food you didn't cook always tastes better.

2. Changing a tire. Dave once got up at 4:30 am and changed my tire in the rain without complaining even once.

3. Chores that require power tools. Sure I could probably do these myself but it's like barbecuing. I really want you to do it.

Things that will loose you man points

1.Failing to defend your loved ones. I'm not saying you need to get yourself killed but if for example someone breaks in to your house and you run off and leave your wife, child, girlfriend, parent, sibling, roommate, or drunk friend sleeping on your couch to be hurt you loose every man point you've ever earned and go so far in the negative you will not be able to crawl out again. You'd be surprised how often this comes up when we're watching the news.

2. Not taking your share of the parent duties. Whether we're talking dead beat dad's or just that guy (we've all met) who consistently ignores his child to watch the game or go out with his buddies. Sorry you made a kid, like it or not what you want is no longer top priority. (Just to reiterate this is NOT Dave, he's a great Dad)

3. General poserness. You know that Offspring song Pretty Fly for a White Guy? Yeah that guy and others like him. Embrace who you are, if you're trying to hard to be what your not the best result you can hope for is that people will wait for you to be out of earshot before they laugh at you.


TK said...

I vote the following are all man jobs and therefore will earn man points:

1. Anything to do with removing dead rodents/vermin etc. from anywhere.
2. Anything to do with the automobile. I will put my auto through the car wash and put gas it it, but that is as far as I go.
3. Hooking up any TV/DVD/DVR equipment and cables, please, that stuff looks like spagetti.

Me (women) points
1. Getting up early to make husband a SOUTH BEACH DIET breakfast.
2. Putting the grandchildren in bed.
3. I get points for this whether I like it or not: unpaid home improvement assistant.
4. Oh, I almost forgot, the women seem to always take care of the parents.

Ronin said...

I'll take TK's #3 a step further and say:

Taking care of any technology that's more current than 1978.

I think that's just man territory.

For woman points:

1. Taking care of said man when man is sick, and is convinced that he is going to die in very short order.

Even if it is just a minor cold.

Dani said...

I agree with all of TK's votes and I second Ronin's vote for men being in charge of the tech. That is certainly the way out house is. I love that I married tech support.

I can't say I've ever taken care of Dave when he's sick so maybe I loose some points but in my deffence he NEVER get's sick and getting him to take a day off is like pulling teeth. I'd take care of him if he'd let me.

One the other hand he's always been great when I've been sick. I had food poisoning about a month ago, I've never been that sick before in my life. It was three days of awfulness and Dave took care of both Fiona and I (with help from my Mom when he was at work) with no complaints. So I give him a scoop of man points for that.