You know you've made it when you've been moulded in miniature plastic.-Cate Blanchett

So I was buying wine. You're shocked because I never drink, I know, I know. So there was this paper thingy on one of the bottles.

I was looking at the blank side and thought, "Ya know what this looks like?"

So.........

And then I got silly with the picture of Fiona on my desk.

Which of coarse led to more silliness at home.

Baby Fiona as a Troika (Which is apparently the proper name for those little wooden nesting dolls)

Vladi as a Troika

One of my nieces as a Troika (hope her parents don't mind)

Me as a Troika

It is ridiculous how much fun I was having doing this. I'm totally going to start carrying this thing around making Troikas of all the people I meet....'cept I'm totally lazy so maybe not.

Anything your heart desires will come to you.- When you wish upon a star

Alright so here's what's been going on. The week after Thanksgiving we went to Disneyland with P & A and their two kids. I had about a million post ideas that I completely forgot in the ensuing craziness, which I'll tell you about in a minute. But here's the short version...

 Disneyland was fun. It's Disneyland what did you expect? Fiona rode the roller coasters and had a blast but for some reason is now afraid of the people dressed up as characters. If you ever get the chance to go to Disney (land or world) at Christmas time I recommend it.

 And here's the most important part. My SIL bought us all hats (okay just the kids and me) and I wore them all day. I was unaware until we got home that there was photographic proof of this but ya know what, I don't care. I'm just a big ol' kid when I'm there. FYI they are Kermit ears though you can't tell from this picture.

Okay so then we came home and I was expecting to settle in to my routine and get all the Christmas stuff done when BAM. I get notification that I have no more unemployment benefits. This did not turn out to be the case but I spent the last couple weeks in a perpetual state of anxiety unsure if we could afford a tree or to buy any more gifts.

This week I found out yes I still have benefits at least for a while. There are two jobs I'm in the process of interviewing for and it looks like I have a good chance at getting offered one or both of them (fingers crossed).  And Wednesday was Fiona's 4th birthday.

So now I can breathe and I'm finally getting excited about Christmas. Fiona and I just baked pumpkin cranberry muffins, next up is gingerbread, then those peanut butter ones with the Hershey's kiss on top. Tomorrow will be chocolate chip cookies and Dave's making a pecan pie. I'll make the pumpkin pie on Sunday morning and Dave's making dinner and of coarse there will be gifts and wine and all the usual holiday trappings.

I hope everyone has had as nice a week as I have. And I hope you have a great holiday (whatever kind you celebrate). If you're in Sacramento, come on over and have some cookies or muffins or eggnog.

A good film is when the price of the dinner, the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it.-Alfred Hitchcock

Alright I've gotten some very odd recommendations from Amazon.com over the years. My two favorites are "You might like this CD of Danish Christmas chants because you said you own Appetite for Destruction" and "You might like this latex naughty nurse outfit because you said you own a blue Pyrex baking dish."

Now Netflix has joined the things that make you go hmmm brigade "You watched the Backyardigans so here are some witty British movies you might like."

There's no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap.-Kevin James

Me: Yes hi I'd like to order some food for pick up.

Pizza shop worker: Okay what can I get for you.

Me: A Cheese pizza, bread sticks, and a bottle of Pepsi.

PSW: Will that be all?

Me: Yes.

PSW: When would you like to pick it up?

Confused pause

Me: Umm when it's ready?

PSW: Okay ten minutes then.

Tact is, after all, a kind of mind reading.-Sarah Orne

If I was ever in a situation where I needed to wear a tin foil hat to keep "them" from being able to read my thoughts I'd use the tin foil to line a regular baseball hat so no one would know I was crazy.

There is an itch in runners.-Arnold Hano

I used to jog. Just a little. The route I took was probably no more than a mile and I walked a lot of it.

I've been thinking of taking it up again.

I've had back problems my whole life.

I have a tricky knee that occasionally needs bracing.

I'm currently having foot problems.

But I'm thinking of taking up jogging again.

I am completely insane.

I always admired Wonder Woman and the Incredible Hulk - but I don't know if I'd be a very convincing hulk.-Lucy Liu

Proof that I really think like this.

Conversation last night as we we're dozing off.

Me: It seems to me that Wonder Woman's Invisible Jet is pretty much the stupidest of the comic book gadgets. I mean what's the point of it being invisible? It would have been easier to say she can fly.

Dave: (drowsily) Yep.

Then I happily fell asleep contemplating that fact that the Amazons we're unlikely to have jet technology in any case.

And so with all things: names were vital and important.-Algernon Blackwood

On the way home from Fiona's dance class I had to find an alternate route to the freeway due to police cars blocking the whole street (not sure what the deal was, probably don't want to know). Guess what I found?

Danica way.

Sweet!

My path to world domination has begun!

That's how it works right? You get all famous and they name a street after you. So clearly this street was a reference to me right?

Right?

Well fine if you want to be all logical about it.

Still made my day.

If you have to be in a soap opera try not to get the worst role.-Judy Garland

I dreamed that the soap opera I was on was being canceled. The other three people in the cast were all upset but I told them it would be fine because we were going to get picked up by Telemundo. Now we just needed to learn Spanish.

I don't even care what that means. It made me giggle.

All the thoughts of a turtle are turtle.-Ralph Waldo Emerson

The grocery store was out of the kind of yogurt I usually buy for Fiona so I bought a pack of Gogurt instead. This afternoon she asked for some. As I got her one I saw that the box says "8 turtles in every box."  I was totally disappointed to discover I'd misread it and it actually said "8 tubes in every box." I wanted the turtles.

If you can't control your peanut butter, you can't expect to control your life.-Bill Watterson

Did you know that all natural peanut butter is about the same color as nacho cheese sauce? Or that they come in very similar jars?

I learned the hard way.

France is the country where the money falls apart and you can't tear the toilet paper.-Billy Wilder

We've pretty much got Fiona potty trained and boy howdy was that the most fun ever? No, no it wasn't.

Now we are working on some more related issues like remembering to flush and turn off the light when you leave the room.

I spent today repeatedly giving step by step instructions on how to use toilet paper. Take a moment to think about that.

First grab the paper, now pull. No! No not that much, just a little. Yes just like that now tear it off. No. No stop. Put one hand on the roll to keep it from moving, yes like that. Now use your other hand to tear it. No from the top. The top Fiona. TOP not bottom. Yes that top sheesh. Okay now tear. Yay! Okay now kinda fold it up...

Good grief!


In unrelated news I have a job interview today. Wish me luck.

A witty saying proves nothing. -Voltaire

The watter heater is working again(for now) so I have washed my hair.

My cell is broken(again) so they are sending me a new one for the fourth time since I got it in November. I am less thrilled with it now than when I got it.

My new Nephew was born last night so my niece is coming for a sleepover while her Mom and Dad are in the hospital. Congrats to them hope they get to sleep again soon.

Who knew Wednesday could be so action packed?

morbid and creepifying, I got no problem with, long as she does it quiet-like-Firefly

Alright if you're not a Browncoat or just crazy about Joss Whedon you won't get this. But if you are, you're welcome.

The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them.-Mark Twain

Does this happen to any one else?

Generally I don't look at page numbers while I'm reading. They really don't matter. But for some reason I always, and I mean quite literally always, glance at the page number when I get to page 100.

I don't know why my subconscious feels it should make note of page 100. This has never benefited me in any way.

Happy 4th. It would appear that I am back yay!

Originality is the art of concealing your sources.-Unknown

Anyone who says "you can't run away from your problems" obviously has not been chased by the Mummy.

I'm sad that I no longer have pet rabbits because I will never get to make Night of the Lepus 2. Maybe I can put bunny ears on the cat.

Am I the only person who thinks The Cat In The Hat was practicing home invasion?

Movies have taught me that if I lived in NYC I wouldn't be surprised to see a costumed hero or a monster crawl out of the sewer. In Tokyo I'd expect giant lizards.

I think I owe my cat an apology for having had a child.

People on cop shows drink a whole heck of a lot more coffee than can possibly be healthy.

Do you think if there was an eppisode of How it's Made for blister packs there would be lots of evil villain laughter and hand rubbing?

I spend hours deciding on the soundtrack for when they make a movie of my life?

Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really.-Agnes Sligh Turnbull

Can dogs go crazy? Or perhaps develop dementia?

I ask because Sammy has been getting weirder and weirder.

It started a few months back when she refused to be in the house when my niece was here. My niece we see close to every weekend so it's not like Sammy had never met her before. When she went outside she would lay in the middle of the lawn, I should also mention that it was pouring rain (and I mean really bucketing) the first several times she did this. At the time we thought maybe the shrill little girl voices hurt her ears.

Then on Christmas she climbed in to the new play tent we'd bought Fiona and peed in it. I was able to clean it up but that is not the point. I wondered if maybe she was (after 3 years) getting resentful of Fiona.

This week she's insisted on repeatedly getting between me and the bath tub when I was trying to give Fiona a bath, taken up eating poop (yes dogs do this but it's new for her), and started pawing at anything cardboard she can find in an obsessive compulsive way.

I suppose I should call the vet. I'm just worried that they're going to say it's just 'cause she's old and we can't do anything about it. I don't want us to have to decide when to put her down based on how crazy she's become rather than how old and sick she is.

She has always annoyed me. I'm not proud of it but I've been known to tell her, "go away nobody likes you" But really she's just so freaking stupid it frustrates me. I don't actually hate her (as I may have also been known to say). I want Sammy to be her normal mildly annoying self for many more years not on a scary downward slide in to senility. Awww maaaaaan now I'm getting weepy.


Note: I should clarify a bit here. We wouldn't be putting her down just 'cause she's getting nutty. That would make us pretty horid. I meant that I didn't expect her being crazy to be a factor at all. I will be taking her to the vet in any case.

Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch.-W.C. Fields

We bought this nifty wine bottle cork holder when we went wine tasting a couple months ago. I just thought it was kinda cool and it matches a small wine rack we have in the kitchen.

The only problem is every time I put a cork in there I feel like I'm putting it in cork jail. And what did the poor corks ever do to me?

Sorrow can be alleviated by good sleep, a bath and a glass of wine.-St. Thomas Aquinas

I wanted to take a nice bath. As the tub filled I tried to light the candles (yes I know cheesy, but I like it) but I couldn't get them to stay lit. This is when I discovered Fiona had pored watter in each of them. So I had to replace them all. Finally I got them to light but by the time I was done I'd used all but one of the matches in the book. So now I've got this book of match. I don't know what I'm ever going to do with one match but I refuse to throw it away. I have the vague sense that I might find myself in a McGuyver moment where I need that one match to save the world. So I put it back in my medicine cabinet.

This is the way my mind works.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were?-Satchel Paige

True story.

Several years ago on the way to a Halloween party (which is irrelevant)

Me: How old are you?

Dave: (insert age, I've forgotten what year this was)Did you actually forget how old I am?

Me: No, I forgot how old I am and I know you're one year older.