Dead fish don't swim around in jealous tides.-Scott Weiland

For years people have been trying to tell me I should try sushi. And I always said, "Yeah, I don't think so." Dave was always on that same page with me so it was pretty easy to avoid.

A couple months ago however Dave had to go to a work lunch at a sushi place and discovered he liked it. He'd been telling me ever since, "I really think you'd like it." I reminded him that I'm the pickiest eater on the planet (actually I recently met someone who makes me look positively adventurous but I don't judge) but he still said he thought I'd like it.

The last couple years I've been branching out trying new things and sometimes discovering I kinda like them (onions on salad, who knew). So I said I'd give it a try.

We went to the same place Dave had enjoyed before.

Our waitress was great.

Fiona had a blast playing with chopsticks.

And you know what?

Sushi is pretty freaking gross!

Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.-Fran Lebowitz

I wasn't feeling very well so I stayed home in bed watching reruns of My So-Called Life while Dave took Fiona out to old town. They came home and Fiona came running in to our room, "Mommy Mommy I brought you something!" Turned out to be a chocolate covered Rice Krispy square.

They're kinda awesome and I love them. Dave and Fiona I mean, though I could also be said to have affection for chocolate covered Rice Krispy squares.

Soap and water and common sense are the best disinfectants.-William Osler

PSA

Learn from my mistake. Don't keep your toothbrush right next to the soap dispenser.

My mouth is more squeaky clean than minty fresh right now. Blech!

Be smart, but never show it.-Louis B. Mayer

Have you ever had a job with specialized knowledge? Sure you have....every company has their own little systems and procedures that you will never be able to use in any other part of your life.



Well have you ever had an unexpected opportunity to use some knowledge from an old job that you thought was never ever going to be of use again?



That JUST happened to me and it feels AWESOME. I feel like James Bond, Sherlock Holmes, or Einstein because I am so cool/intuitive/smart. I knew not only that something was wrong but what.



Here's what happened. I ordered a used CD from Amazon. I think it cost $1.98. It just arrived. I could tell as I opened the package that the jewel case was thinner than normal but was not yet alarmed. As I slid it out of the package it was obvious it was an after market case. Still no biggie maybe the original case got all banged up. But then the case slid and I could see the back plate (ya know the back part that usually has the list of songs and sits under the cradle for the actual CD) was just floating around free not attached to anything. Okay that's a bit ghetto but wait there's more....near the top of what should have been the spine of the case is a cut. Dun Dun DUUUUUUUUUUUN!



Oh the suspense!



You are so excited right now I know, I know.



Man this is riveting stuff.



Here's where my super useful past job knowledge comes in. Cutting through the jewel case and the spine of the back plate is one of the ways record companies mark something as a promotional item. I have lots and lots of promos because I used to work in a music store and I know it's illegal to sell them. Technically promos remain the property of the record company but they never ask for them back.



I totally don't care that it's a promo. Like I said I have others. I'll probably loose the packaging any way. But I did send an email to Amazon letting them know what happened since they may want to know. I might not even have done that if it was an individual selling it but it was an online used CD store and they should know better.



Sure I felt like a bit of a tool for narking them out but the I am so cool because I know about promo CD's was way stronger.

The mother-daughter relationship is the most complex.-Wynonna Judd

We were sitting at the table having lunch when I looked over at Fiona. Her face had jelly stains and her hair was all crazy because I hadn't brushed it yet as we weren't going any where and I was feeling lazy. I found myself in one of those moments so annoying to children and dear to mothers when we suddenly realise how much we love our jobs. I looked at Fiona smiled wistfully and said, "You're beautiful." She looked back at me for a second nodded once matter of factly and returned her attention to her PB&J.

The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left.-Jerry M. Wright

Do you ever get reminded of something that happened in the past and suddenly realise how different you are now? I don't mean that in a pity party "oh my life is so different from how I expected" way. No my life is pretty good, no complaints. I just mean sometimes I see who I used to be and miss her like a good friend that moved away.

Youth is a disease from which we all recover.-Dorothy Fulheim

When we were at Disney Land we saw a bunch (I mean dozens and dozens) of kids wearing ginormous amounts of beads. This wasn't something we'd seen at home so we looked it up. Apparently it's a primarily so cal thing (though I'm sure it'll spread) called Kandi Kids. I guess it's linked with the Rave and EMO sub cultures. I found this pic on Google images.

Pretty much they look like a bunch of idiots. Which means it's officially happened. I am now that old person looking at young people and saying "I don't understand these new fashions. They just look stupid."



"Come on I'm sure nothing I wore when I was young was that lame looking." Is exactly what these kids will be saying when they're my age.

Gentlemen prefer blondes... but gentlemen marry brunettes.-Anita Loos*

Those of you who are mothers will already know this but when you're pregnant you don't loose any hair. Now my hair has always been really thick so I didn't really notice the difference when I was pregnant but when Fiona was three or four months old all that extra hair started falling out. Now I'm not sure how it is for other women but like I said my hair is thick so in my case it was coming out in big huge fist fulls of hair. It was alarming at first but after a few days I got used to it. Unfortunately I got so used to it that it didn't occur to me to warn the poor shampoo girl when I went to get my hair cut. She thought she'd done something wrong and freaked out. She was trying to hide her panic so it took me a few minutes to notice. When I figured out what was wrong and explained to her that it was nothing to worry about she started crying in relief. I'm pretty sure there's a lesson here but "if you've got giant gobs of hair falling off your scalp warn anyone who might touch your head" seems unnecessarily specific.

* snicker, what's this quote say about Dave?

LOCK-AND-KEY, n. The distinguishing device of civilization and enlightenment.-Ambrose Bierce

I locked the cat in the backyard a few days ago to force him to explore (so I could get rid of the cat box). After about half an hour I went to let him back in and he was MIA. I knew in theory he'd be back but I still felt like a total jerk for locking him out. He was missing for about four hours but did eventually show back up at dinner time. In the intervening time I went from slightly guilty to total panic and actual tears (about ten minutes before he came back). I kept going in to the back yard to call for him thinking he was lost and needed the sound of my voice to lead him home (Yah I know drama queen. What do you expect? This me we're talking about.)

Any way the point of this post actually has nothing to do with the cat or me being a worry wart it has to do with me getting in to a situation that is so cliche I didn't think it actually ever happened.

It was cold out and looked like it was going to rain so I left Fiona inside while I went out to call for the cat again. I was only going to be out there for a couple minutes and I could see her through the sliding door. I called for the cat and announced to the empty backyard that I was sorry I said nasty things about him not catching the mouse (it looks like Dave was right by the way and it was the same mouse because there haven't been any more) then went to go back inside.

The door was locked.

Locked from the inside.

Fiona had locked the door.

Hmmmmm what do I do? Quick mental door check. ALL the doors are locked and I can't fit through the dog door. I don't have my keys or my phone and oh is that a drop of rain? My only option get the attention of the two year old I can no longer see and convince her to unlock the door. Yeah that should be easy.

I pounded on the door calling for Fiona. Luckily she wandered over after about a minute. "Fiona can you flip up the lock?" Pointing to it through the door. Fiona got distracted by the tv. Pound on the door and call her name some more until she looks at me, ask her to flip up the lock, she gets distracted by the tv. Rinse and repeat for ten minutes until she did flip the lock and I was able to get back in. Frankly I'm surprised it didn't take longer or in fact until Dave got home from work.

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Gambits Perspective

Dec 2000: Sweet I get a new house with a big yard and a puppy friend to play with....oh and there are people here to feed me, awesome.

2001: I don't know about the lady. I like the man who lets me on the bed better. The lady says she's going to get a cat and then I'll be jealous but I doubt it. I just don't like her much.

2002: She got a cat! How could she get a cat? She's MY human, I LOVE HER! Maybe if I ignore the cat it'll go away.

2003: Cat's still here. WTF?

2004: I continue to deny the cats existence but no effect.

2005: The lady and the man who let me on the bed are planing a party. The lady bought a white dress. Why white? I'm just going to get it dirty. Stupid cat's still here but I don't let on.

2006: The people are acting kinda strange, are they thinking of getting another pet? I better lay between them every night to prevent them getting in any trouble.

Hmmm flaw in my plan they just keep kicking me off the bed.

The cat remains despite my displeasure.

2007: Oh no! The lady is getting all big. I know what this means, she's having puppies!

Okay that's just weird. It's not a puppy. It's a little pink squishy thing. Maybe if I ignore it it will go away.

The cat continues to take up room in my home.

Phrase of the Day

Traffically Impossible= 1. A phrase I accidentally coined this weekend. 2. A travel plan hindered by the difference between the amount of time it should take based on distance and the amount of time it will take based on actual road conditions.

In a sentence: The tourists plan to drive from San Francisco to Santa Cruz after lunch and be back before dinner was traffically impossible.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

A couple weeks ago my pregnant sister in law (AB, different from AK who just had a baby about 5 weeks ago {note to self, should really ask if they mind if I use their first names}) thanked me for not being all negative and telling her how bad being a parent can be. I was shocked, I thought I HAD been being negative. I guess maybe her friends are better at getting that point across...or their kids were even harder shudder.

Tuesday night Dave's older sister (T) brought her two kids over for a last visit with Fiona since we were leaving the next morning. Our nephew is testing his boundaries so he was getting a time out and he was crying. Our niece didn't want to use the potty so she was crying. Fiona was crying because everybody else was crying and in walked AB and her husband (L). The look on AB's face was priceless. I just stood there and grinned evilly.


Note: My niece and nephew are great kids and generally very well behaved it was just one of those moments. I look forward to my next nephew arriving in January.

Note to Self

If you're going to wear pants where the zipper keeps falling down perhaps bright red underwear is not the best choice.

Time Warp

I'm remarkably bad about staying in touch with people. Part of that is because I have this aversion to phones. Seriously I'll do almost anything before I pick up a phone, ordering Pizza is causes me major anxiety (yes I know I'm crazy, see title of blog).

This is why I like the Internet. Email doesn't cause me any stress, blogging is an easy way to update people on your life (admittedly my blog may be lacking in actual info), and social networking sites like Myspace and Facebook have allowed me to reconnect with many people I hadn't talked to in years.

The weird result of reconnecting with people is I forget that time has passed. Just because I'm in my 30's got married and started a family is no reason why any of them should have aged or grown up in any way.

I was looking at a friends pictures today and got quite a shock. I knew she had kids, she already had her oldest daughter when we used to work together. In fact I used to sit for her occasionally and hers was the first diaper I ever changed.

Oh look cute pictures of the kids
Awww sweet smile
Who's that woman?
Woman?

I read the caption. It was the oldest daughter, the one who was 3 ish last time I saw her. I did the math and realised she was probably about 15 now.

Is Fiona gonna do that? Grow up? I do not approve.

I Used To Be That Girl

Friday after work I took Fiona to the grocery store. There were lots of other moms with kids and everyone was waiving at each other and commenting on the cuteness of the kids. We go to the cookie dough area (a staple) and there was this girl there probably mid 20's clearly on her way some where. She had on this short tight little black dress and these hot pink stilettos, her hair was all done up and she had on about twenty five pounds of well applied makeup. I was thinking some very catty uncharitable thoughts at her that involved words like tamp until Fiona waived at her and said, "Hi" and her face lit up and she said, "Oh my god, what a cutie!" then I thought, "She's such a nice girl.". I realised what a hypocrite I was being and leaned in to Fiona to tell her, "Mama used to look just like that".

Random Story

A post on Roses site made me remember this story (well & it came up last weekend). Hi Roses!

A few years ago the city was doing some work across the street from our house. I'm not sure what they were doing but they cut a big hole in the sidewalk. I'm sure they had every intention of fixing it but before they could it rained. The watter filled the whole and seeped in to some power lines which knocked out half the power in our neighborhood.

"What's so interesting about that?, you ask. Well I'll tell ya. When I say it knocked out half the power in the neighborhood I don't mean that half the houses lost power. I mean that all the houses lost half their power. We had power in half the plugs in the kitchen, no power in the bedrooms but full power in the bathrooms and power in one side of the living room. We called PG&E and they said they'd come fix it in the morning but someone needed to be there so I stayed home from work. Luckily the TV was in the functioning half of the living room. Unfortunately the refrigerator was not in the functioning half of the kitchen and I had an almost full package of cream puffs melting away so I made a great personal sacrifice and ate them all.

Did You Know My Maiden Name Was MacGuiver?

Okay no it was really Mc something else but....

Fiona's night light burned out and we're out of replacement bulbs. I discovered this as Dave was getting her ready for bed. Last time this happened we thought "no biggie we don't really need it to see if we go in there at night". Yeah clearly we forgot the general point of a night light which is to comfort the kid. The result was she woke up repeatedly and screamed bloody murder, actually I think we may have given up and brought her to our room.

So I went on a mission to find a suitable substitute for one night. I searched the house and found a tiny electric camping lantern. SWEET! Hmmmm it doesn't turn on but although we're out of light bulbs we've got batteries coming out our ears. I change the batteries but it turns out that bulb is burned out too. Are there any bulbs left in the universe that are not burned out aaaargh!

Then I have a stroke of genius. I took a flashlight (thankfully both batteries and bulb are in proper working order) and set it up behind a basket on her dresser. Viola night light!

I'm going to buy a gross of night light bulbs!

The Things We (Or At Least I) Do For Beauty

I never paint my nails. It's just not worth the trouble or the maintenance and.....I ALWAYS GET A WEDGIE WHILE MY NAILS ARE WET. I am so uncomfortable at the moment.

Newly Invented Daniverse Etiquette Rule

When you get to the nail salon to discover that you're the only client because they are only open by appointment on Sunday, and you know there is no way what you are paying can possibly make it worth her while to interrupt her weekend give her a good tip.

I went with 25%.

Thanks Jan ,my toes are pretty.

Becoming My Own Mother

When we were kids Mom would buy my brother and I straw hats every summer to wear in the sun so we wouldn't get burned. Of coarse we never wore them because they were uber lame. Mom wore hers though because she'd rather not get burned than worry about how she looked.

Next Monday we're taking Fiona to a watter park. We went and bought spf 70 sun screen today (we are a pale family) and I bought myself a straw hat ::Sigh::