Our inventions are wont to be pretty toys, which distract our attention from serious things. They are but improved means to an unimproved end.-Henry David Thoreau

My Mom sent me this. At first I was all' "Yeah yeah whatever." Because I was determined not to be amused by anything my mother thought was funny (I'm contrary like that) but I couldn't avoid giggling. But once I got to the part about the cat I knew I must share this with the world (or at very least the handful of people who read this), because those are the words I have been searching for to describe Fiona's relationship with Vladi.

Fiona has (let me count) 6 baby dolls. Their names are: Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby, Little Baby, and Little Baby 2.

Her imaginary friend is named Kid Leela. Not Leela but Kid Leela, ya know 'cause we were going to get her mixed up with all the other Leelas we know (actually that was my Grandmas name but as she wasn't invisible I think we could have told them apart.

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.-Larry David

Fiona: Here Vladi

Me: Fiona, cat's don't like M&M's.

Fiona: Do they like fish M&M's?

Me: We'll if there was such a thing I'm sure they would.

This music won't do. There's not enough sarcasm in it.-Samuel Goldwyn

Conversation as we left the ballet.

Me: Did you have fun Fona bona?

Little girl walking in front of us: (Turns around) Fona bona? That's a funny sounding name.

Me: That's not her real name it's just something silly we call her.

Little girls mom: Like when we call you Emily pemily.

Fiona: Emily pemily? That's a funny sounding name.

Me: The snark is strong with this one.

Don't tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish.-Mark Twain

Fiona: (in a panicked voice from the bathroom) Mommy I need help!

Me: (running in) What's wrong?

Fiona: I need to wash my hands and I don't have any soap.

Me: No problem there is more soap in the world. Here you can use the one you picked out (pulls out new soap with a tropical fish on the label)

Fiona: Oooooooh my hands are gonna smell like fish!

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.-Woody Allen

After her bath

Me: Here put these panties on.

Fiona: No I don't want Toy Story ones. I want Rapunzel panties.

Me: Whell these are the ones I grabed. You can either put these on or go comando.

Fiona: My Barbies go comando.

Me: Well yes that's true.

I've got gadgets and gizmos aplenty / I have whoozits and whatzis galore / You want thingamabobs? I've got twenty / But who cares? No big deal / I want more.-The Little Mermaid

As I was giving Fiona a bath.

Fiona: (Holding up one of her mermaid toys) She even knows your name!

Me: Really?

Fiona: Uh hu!

Me: Okay.  What's my name Ariel?

Ariel (as voiced by Fiona): Drama Queen!

The chain of wedlock is so heavy that it takes two to carry it - and sometimes three.-Heraclitus

Fiona: Remember when you and Daddy got married?

Me: Vividly.

Fiona: I was too little to go.

Me: To say the least.

I am attracted to people who make this effort in knowing what suits them - they are individual and stylish-Vivienne Westwood

Fiona has started describing everything she likes as "Stylish". I'm not sure where she got this word. I don't think either Dave or I use it much. Actually I would be pretty confident in stating that word has never come out of Dave's mouth in his life. Where ever she learned it she did not really pick up the context. For example yesterday she said, "I love this Popsicle Mama, it's sooooo stylish."

I should probably be trying to correct this but every time I do what comes out is, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." Aaaaaaand she doesn't get that either.

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.-Mark Twain

Fiona: What's watter made of?

Me: Hydrogen and Oxegyn.

Fiona: (Taked a deep drink) Yep that's what it tastes like.

A great artist is always before his time or behind it.-George Edward Moore

My brother was an artist. I don't know if he was actually as good as we his family thought but he was certainly different than other kids. I don't remember him ever using crayons, he was creating full page drawings (which were recognizable) with fine point markers when he was 3 or 4. He was really frustrated when he went to kindergarten and all they let him use were those big fat crayons and huge paintbrushes and all he could produce was something that "looked like a kindergartner drew it."

When he was about 6 he decided it was time to start trying to sell some of his work so he set up a table in out driveway and displayed several of his pictures with a sign saying they were ten cents each. This probably would have worked better but our street didn't have any sidewalks, was on a super steep hill, and was extremely busy traffic wise. However after a couple hours one of my friends who live two doors away walked purposely down the hill and spent several minutes in serious deliberation before deciding witch picture she wanted. She gave him a dime and took her new possession home. It made his day. I have always appreciated that she did that and that she treated it like a serious transaction.


A couple notes:

1. I had forgotten this story until something my BIL (P) said about Fiona having a distinctive art style reminded me. And I thank him for that.

2. (This will get slightly sad so feel free to skip) Roses posted something this morning that made me realise something. I was still thinking I was going to try to make a living in theatre when my brother died. Unfortunately every single song I tried to sing made me think of him. I told my voice teacher I needed a break but I never went back. I didn't sing at all for well over a year. I've been a little embarrassed and angry at myself that I spent so many years taking drama, dance, and voice lessons and then never even tried to do anything with them. It wasn't till this morning that it occurred to me that it wasn't entirely laziness or cowardice on my part. And I thank Roses for helping me forgive myself a little.

The child-soul is an ever-bubbling fountain in the world of humanity.-Friedrich Froebel

We we're wandering around old town and saw a fountian. Dave and I both had a few pennies so we let Fiona make some wishes. I happen to know her wish came true because with each and every penny she said "I wish I could have that sucker" and pointed at the one I was holding for her while she made the wishes.

Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I'm not perfect and I don't live to be. But, before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean.-Bob Marley

Our niece K was over visiting. I was walking the girls to the park and we had to cross the street.

Me: Okay ladies. I need you to each hold one of my hands.

K: If I have boogers on my hand you won't want to hold it.

Me: Sigh

Never spend your money before you have earned it.-Thomas Jefferson

I was in our room getting ready to go somewhere. Fiona crept in quietly behind me, went to Dave's bed side table and tried to leave the room with her hands behind her back.

Me: Hey! You can't just take something without asking. You know that.

Fiona: (holding out her hands to show the three pennies she'd found) Please I may have all Daddy's money?

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life.-Charles M. Schulz

My almost 2 year old niece A came for a visit. As I was getting the girls in to the car to come home from the grocery store A saw an old pretzel sitting between the car seats (yes my car is gross. I have a kid, get over it) and started asking for chips.


This was the conversation in the back seat while we drove home.


A: I want chips.

Fiona: Mama said when we get home.

A: I want chips.

Fiona: When we get home okay?

A: I want chips.

Fiona: I can't give you any. I'm not magic, I can't pull them out of my pocket.



She is so ready to be a big sister (no that's not an announcement, I'm just saying)

It takes a long time to grow young.-Pable Picasso

Conversation on Wednesday

Me: Are you even going to tell me "Happy Birthday" Fiona?

Fiona: Yeah.

Pause

Me: You haven't said it.

Fiona: Happy Birthday Fiona.

Me: Smart ass.

Excuse the mess but we live here.-Roseanne Barr

We were getting in to the car to go to the store.



Fiona: Your car is messy



Me: (looking at the crumbs, sand, and twigs around her car seat) Yeah it is.



Fiona: What happened Mama?



Me: Well ya see I had a baby and she made a big ol mess out of my car.



Fiona: Silly baby. The baby can clean up you car.



Me: That'd be great. I'm not holding my breath though.



Fiona: You had a baby in my car seat? Silly Mama.



Me: I'll tell you a secret. You're the baby. You made the mess.



Fiona: Ooooooh I THE BABY! (looks at mess) Sorry Mama.

A picture is a poem without words. -Horace

Fiona: Look Mama it's you (holding up picture she drew)

Me: It looks just like me, all square and pouty.

Fiona: Oh no, you need a belly!

Me: No, no that's okay, please don't draw a belly.

Fiona: (scribbling madly) There a blue belly.

Me: Sigh thanks.

Babies are such a nice way to start people.-Don Herold

I'm throwing a baby shower for AK who is due with her second child in July. Fiona of coarse thinks this means I'm going to bathe her aunt. I know I should correct this misconception but I find it amusing the way she just accepts this idea with no concerns. I'll pay for the therapy latter.

Darlin' I'll be true.-The Beatles All My Loving

Sometimes when I am putting Fiona to bed I sing to her. The other night I was putting her down and said "Close your eyes." Now I say that every night but this time it triggered a memory and I continued, "Close your eyes and I'll kiss you. Tomorrow I'll miss you. Remember I'll always be true. And then while I'm away I'll write home every day, and I'll send all my lovin to you." And so on and so forth.

When I finished I realised she was whimpering. I would have just thought she was being dramatic ('Cause she is sometimes. Don't ask me where she gets it.)but there were real tears on her face.

Me: What's wrong?

Fiona: Don't go Mama.

Me: Oh honey! It's just a song I'm not going anywhere.

Fiona: (Completely loosing it at this point)Don't go Mama. Stay here please. Stay here Mama. I love you.

Me: Fiona it's okay I'll be here when you wake up in the morning. I promise I'll always be here for you. It's okay....how about a happier song. How 'bout the unicorn song?

Fiona: Sniffle sob sniff sniff okay.

Sheesh I guess I'm not raising a Beatles fan.

I'm just - I'm kind of flabbergasted when you say things like that. It's weird.-Pineapple Express

Pineapples we're 2 for $5 so I did what I had to.....studies on a pineapple.















Oh wait...I didn't take that last one.