'Cause We're Like That

Me: (examining Fiona's tiny bit of hair) Do you think we should take Fiona to a hair salon and ask them to give her a new hairstyle?

Dave: Yeah we'll tell them she's had this look for a while.

Me: Maybe something a bit fuller here (gesturing at her entire head)

For the Girl Who Has Everything

I would love this book on Vintage Shoes but I'm not spending $39.95 on it.

Check Me Out

So my friend Colleen from Welcome to the Snug gave me an award. How cool is that? Thanks Colleen and did you notice you've been upgraded to friend from lady who's blog I like. Now you all know if you give me presents you get to be my friend. It took me a few days to think of 10 interesting and honest facts.

Here are the rules for these awards:

a) List 10 honest things about yourself - and make it interesting, even if you have to dig deep! and
b) Pass the award on to 7 blogers that you feel embody the spirit of the Honest Scrap.

Alright it actually took me a couple days to think of ten things but here we go.

1. I've never learned to ride a bike. I've admitted that before but it's true. I never wanted to learn it just didn't appeal to me.

2. I pretty much only watch tv shows where someone dies. Law and Order, Forensic Files, Dr. G Medical Examiner, Midsummer Murders. As long as there's a dead body I'm happy.

3. It drives me up the wall when people sing the wrong lyrics. I'm that annoying person who corrects people who are perfectly happy singing the way they think it goes. It's like a compulsion I can't not correct them.

4. When I'm handling cash I have to "face the bills" which means they all need to be facing the same way. I learned it way back when I worked in retail. What was hard was when I worked in a bank I was dealing with such large amounts I couldn't actually take the time to face every thing and it made me anxious.

5. Alright this one's a little embarrassing but... I spend a lot of my free time giving imaginary interviews as if I were someone famous. I'm not sure when or why I started doing it but it's been since I was little. On the upside if I ever do become famous I'll be an old pro. I only do it when I'm alone but I know Dave's overheard me and has never asked what the heck I'm doing and I love him all the more for just accepting this little eccentricity.

6. I learned to walk in high heels because I took tap dance lessons. I figured if I could dance in the darn things walking was no problem.

7. Our DVR is full of cartoons and they're not for Fiona. South Park, Simpsons, Futurama, Robot Chicken, etc.

8. I have a comic book collection. I inherited most of it from my brother it's something we used to do together. That's why my dog's named Gambit.

9. I've got a thing for office supplies. Seriously hand me a box of paperclips or better yet a pack of post it's and I'm in hog heaven.

10. I've never (to my knowledge) eaten spam, Bologna, or a twinky. There's something about the radioactive yellowness of twinkies that I just can't deal with. I'm alright with other hostess products. I like cupcakes, zingers, and I'm strongly pro hoho but the Twinky is a no.

Alright I don't know 7 people who have personal blogs but I'll list the ones I know.

Amy and Lem Baldwin
Brian and Jenn
Turtle on the sidewalk
Momentary Bliss

So there you have it. Oh and I hope you like the new layout. It was time to change it up.

My Shoping Philosophy

When you find something special you should buy it if you can afford it because you'll find some ware to wear it eventually.

Fancy Seeing You Here

My hip bones have reappeared. Welcome back hip bones, how were you these last 24 months?

On the Upside

I lost 7 pounds while being miserably ill which means (drum roll) I'm at the pre baby weight. Although I suspect once I start eating normally that may change.

I'm About 1,000,000 Times Better Today But

I'm still incredibly week and I'm still suffering one of the symptoms (believe me you don't want the details). So I'm home from work again today. My Mom's here watching Fiona and taking care of me. It's actually looking like I had food poisoning which sucks for me but means no one is going to catch it from me. I was very worried that Fiona might get sick. Of coarse I'd feel bad if Dave or anyone else got it too but it would be more dangerous for Fiona. Thank you to everyone for your concern. Maybe if I can think of something entertaining latter I'll give you a real post. BTW I'm sorry I fell down on the job so soon with the quote of the day I have a whole list but I didn't have the energy yesterday. I just need to decide which one I want to use today and I'll update it.

I Have the Stomach Flu

I'll post once I don't feel like death.

Quote of the Day

I decided on Friday that I'm instituting a quote of the day. By of the day I mean as often as I get around to updating it. The quotes are not meant to reflect on anything they're just things that occur to me. Also if I run out of quotes or get bored I will eliminate the quote of the day because I'm capricious like that. Most of them will probably be music quotes but I may use some from movies and ya never know maybe some other random sources. Today's means nothing it just tickles my fancy.

One of My Favorite Things About Spring

It's almost Lamb season. Sure it's not actually spring yet but I'm guessing sheep don't use calendars. I saw a few lambs this morning on the way to work. I hear they could give Turkeys a run for their money in the stupid animal department, and my Sister in Law (J) who did 4H or something like that tells me they stink but I can't help smiling when I see baby animals frolicking.

I Am Borred

Bored bored bored bored bored. Clearly I am not in the general vicinity of Fiona or I would at very least be busy and likely be giggling like a mental patient. Nope she's off with her father for the moment. So since I can't think of anything productive I could be doing at this moment I did a google search for bored and found some very fun things which I will now share with you.

Christmas cheer

Just a warning this one is a bit gross but still funny. So don't click it if you find bathroom humor offensive
To much Vitamin B

How to turn your car in to a killing machine

This one has a rude gesture on the page so don't open it at work if you boss is standing behind you. Unless you want to send him or her a not so subtle message.

If I had a monkey

Your Welcome! Have a good weekend!

A Few Things I Wish

In no particular order and for no very good reason.

I wish......

I could be a stay at home Mom

They made underoos in adult sizes (that's totally not a kinky thing. I just miss them. I had the coolest spider girl pair when I was 6)

Dr. Pepper had never been invented (I do not like it Sam I am)

I hadn't given away my Barbies when I was a teenager

I could get rid of the flabby spot on my tummy

We had our own dark room

I could wear pumps

Our family wasn't so spread out or at least it was easier to see everyone on a regular basis

My bunnies weren't evil

We had a bathtub an actual adult person could fit in (why oh why do they make bathtubs so dinky thee days?)

I had a good reason to wear my wigs more often

The cat wouldn't follow me in to the bathroom in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning (My eyes aren't open it's dangerous)

I were a better house keeper

That I wasn't so good at talking myself out of things I want (of coarse it does save money but that's not what I'm talking about)

Well that seems like a good list for now. If your wondering why I didn't put any of the obvious things like for Fiona to grow up happy and healthy it's because that is obvious and who would find that interesting. Also I know I'm not alone on a couple of the ones I listed, cummon who didn't like underoos?

I Need Ideas

What is something I can do to thank someone for saving our butts repeatedly this year that doesn't cost a lot of money? Any ideas?

This is Less Than Good

The car can be resurrected but it's going to cost $2700.

Here's the thing. This car is not even 4 years old and only has 46,000 miles on it. This is the reliable car I bought to replace my beloved Jeep because I suspected it was going to start costing me some real money. If I'd known this stupid car was going start being a problem I'd have kept the Jeep. I Loved the Jeep. And let me tell you the Saturn Ion coupe is not the easiest car to get a baby in and out of.

Being young(ish) and poor is getting really old.

I need to start investing in Lottery Tickets again 'cause somethings gotta give.

Whille We're Waiting to Hear About the Car

You know how I love lists I was surfing around and found one titles things you should do before you turn 30. Well I'm 33 so I clicked on it to see if I'd done the things in question prior to my 30th. I thought I'd share the results. Feel free to leave your results in comments.

* Change your hairstyle at least once. Yes although I always wind up going back to the way it is currently
* Make out with someone in a bar. Not in a bar but at a Motley Crue concert
* Get a credit card. Yep several
* Lose at least $200 in a bet. No
* Have sex in the back seat of a car. No 'cause it was a pickup (no backseat)
* Order something off the TV between 3 and 8 a.m. Nope
* Go on a blind date. Many
* Score on a breakaway. IDK what this means
* Get fired. Never been fired but I have been laid off
* Buy an item of furniture worth more than $300. Yep the evil bunnies ate it
* Get in a bar fight. Uh no
* Have a one-night stand. nope
* Sing karaoke. Many many times
* Break up with your girlfriend/boyfriend just because. I always had a valid reason
* Vacation in Mexico. Twice
* Own a nice suit to be worn at something other than a wedding, funeral or church. Nope but I owned nice dresses
* Master a video game. Does Tetris count?
* Watch Wayne Gretzky play hockey live. As much as I don't care about sports I don't care even more about hockey
* Get your face on a local TV station. nope
* Skinny dip. Yeah
* Have a Star Wars, Godfather or Rocky movie marathon. Never seen the Godfather or Rocky but I saw all the good Star Wars movies and the first 2 of the crappy ones
* Puke in a bar. No
* Wear a pair of underwear your mom didn't buy you. Of coarse! Geez if your getting close to 30 and your Mom is still buying your underwear there is something wrong.
* Get a DJ to say your name on the radio. Well it happened but I was not involved in the process
* Finish high school. Yeah
* Stop using flags as curtains. I never did this
* Know how to make at least three different meals. Yes
* Buy condoms and insist on a price check. Yes to the first part no to the second.
* Attend at least one wrestling card. I don't know what this means
* Get a job with salary and benefits. Yes
* Experience Mardi Gras. Never
* Go 48 hours without sleep. Yeah a few times
* Lie to the police ("really officer, we're not being loud"). yeah lets leave it at that
* Get a job that doesn't require a name tag and a paper hat. yep
* Eat at a crappy Las Vegas buffet. no but I've been to a crappy Tahoe buffet
* Spend a night in the drunk tank. I've never been arrested (I guess my lying was effective)
* Shoot a bb-gun at something other than a target. Never shot a bb gun
* Own at least one retro tape. Had to think about it but yes
* Make prank calls or order pizza for a neighbor. Yeah in Jr. High
* Get over your first love. Only been in love once and it would be bad if I got over him what with the whole being married to him with a daughter thing.
* Try smoking parsley. nope

Bad Morning, Bad Bad Morning

On our way to work this morning the transmission stooped working in my car. Yay! How fun! NOT!!! So we called Triple A and got a tow truck and got the car to a repair shop. It's going to be $680 just to figure out what's wrong parts and labor to fix it will be even more. Yay again! So I'm waiting for them to tell me how much and how long it will take to fix it. This is the bestest Thursday ever!

Mom Says a Hippo Would Eat Me Up For Din.....

So because of the previously mentioned insanity I suffer from (actually I can't really say I'm suffering. I pretty much enjoy it) last night when I was falling asleep I was thinking about Hippo attacks. Not work, not Fiona, not even the random little stories I make up to put myself to sleep but Hippo attacks. So I know they're actually very dangerous even though they look like big ol cuddlebugs but I don't actually know where they rank among other dangerous animals. Are there more Crocodile attacks or Hippo attacks every year? And how about Sharks versus Hippos? I tried to Google it and you know what? I can't find a single actual number. The best I can find is a few sites that say that Hippos attack more people each year than any of the other animals in Africa. I even found one that said they attack more people than the "big 5 " in Africa combined but they don't specify what the big 5 are (If I had to guess I'd say Lion's, Tigers, Crocodiles, Elephants, and Rhino's but I could be wrong). If Hippos are so dangerous why is there no hard data? I suspect a smear campaign against the much maligned Hippo.

What is Wrong With Me?

Wait don't answer that. I'm fairly certain my ego can't handle the truth.

I've been having an overwhelming urge to start collecting (& decorating) dollhouses. Not for Fiona noooooo for me. And this isn't solely related to my fantasy of filming Night of the Leppus 2 staring Blondie bear, Smokey, and Mr. Freckles (the evil bunnies). Nope this urge is entirely it's own insanity. Although if I had a dollhouse I would use it as a prop in my movie. The long standing dream to film my own B movie probably should be addressed at some point perhaps in therapy.

Soundtracks

Five bands I discovered because they were on soundtracks I bought.

#1. Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
#2. The Ramones
#3. Linkin Park
#4. Ash
#5. Primus

Also because I'm ubernerdy and like musicals I learned that a woman named Marni Nixon provided the singing for 3 Very famous movie musicals.

#1. Maria in West Side Story (played by Natalie Wood)
#2. Eliza Doolittle in My Fair Lady (played by Audrey Hepburn)
#3. Anna in the King and I (played by Deborah Kerr)

I feel bad for her. I mean why didn't they just cast her? I also feel bad for the 3 ladies who weren't allowed to sing particularly since I know 2 of them were in other musicals and sang those parts. Damn studio system.

Evil Bastard

All weekend Fiona's been turning on the music on her various toys and dancing. This morning Dave thought it would be a good idea to download a Wiggles song and dance video. Fiona's happy as a...(okay are clams really happy?)....toddler with annoying music (there that's accurate) and it's really cute watching her but man I was hoping to keep her away from the wiggles 'cause they creep me out.



Disclaimer-Alright Dave's not a bastard. His parents have been married for...(quick mental math)...38 years. But I stand by the evil part of my slur.

I'm Starting to Get Worried

This is the second weekend in a row that Dave voluntarily turned on Brady Bunch Reruns. Do you think it's time for an intervention?

Just a Little Reminder

I thought everyone learned this in Kindergarten if not sooner but a lot of people seem to forget (frequently) so I'm just putting this out there as a public service announcement.

LIFE IS NOT FAIR!

Thank you. That is all.

I Love Being Me

There are moments when I find myself very amusing. For example picture this me wearing an argyle cardigan and pearls eating oatmeal and listening to this.

That Was Exausting

Last night I dreamed that I had to row a boat from Singapore to Alabama in one night. There were these tiny people with me, tiny like the little singing ladies who live in a clam in Mothra* who were supposed to be my in laws, which I guess explains why were were going to Alabama. However my in laws are normal sized and not Asian so I'm not sure what that was all about. Any way I was rowing and rowing and rowing (even in my dream I thought we'd be lucky not to die and it seemed unlikely we'd make it in the time allowed) and I woke up really tired.


*I tried to find a picture or video but they were all close up so you can't tell how tiny they are so if you've never seen Mothra ummm I don't know go rent it or something so you can appreciate the absurdity of my dream.

Walking and Talking.....Well Almost

Fiona's pulling herself up in safer places than the bathtub now and cruising around on the furniture. All weekend she was trying so hard to talk unfortunately no matter what she was trying to say what came out was, "Thah".

For example here's a conversation we had Friday night. She was sitting on my lap pointing at my watch so I tried to tell her what it was.

Me: Watch

Fiona: Thah

Me: Watch

Fiona: Thah

Me: Watch

Fiona: Thah

You get the idea. It was like this all weekend the only exception was Saturday morning when I was trying to get her to say Banana. What she said was, "Nanana" but that's a whole lot closer than, "Thah".

The Monster of Florence by Douglas Preston with Mario Spezi

I just finished this book. I mean just finished put it down and picked up the lap top to write this post. This is an amazing book. Usually I have a hard time reading non fiction but this was a page turner. It's the story of two writers search for the truth behind a series of serial killings that happened in Florence over the coarse of eleven years. It started out as a pretty straight forward case with investigators following leads developed by evidence found at the crime scenes. Unfortunately it devolved in to a witch hunt in which investigators started ignoring actual evidence in favor of wild conspiracy theories and hunting for a cadre of powerful mystery men possibly involved in Satanism. When Preston and Spezi started investigating the case and stating in interviews and publications an opinion that was contrary to the official investigation, in other words one based on logic, they came under suspicion themselves. Mr. Preston an American citizen was asked to leave the country and Mr. Spezi was actually arrested and charged with trying to "derail" the official investigation. That was bad enough but the powers that be decided his "subversive" actions were evidence that he was actually a member of the satanic cult behind the murders. Luckily he was released after 22 days in prison. Sadly the actual killer has never been arrested though Preston and Spezi do provide the name of the person they believe is the Monster and lay out a good argument for their hypothesis. This book also paints a vivid picture of the city of Florence itself both historically and during the course of the investigation. Someday I would like to go to Italy and though I get the impression it would probably be an easy place to get away with a crime I do think it would be a bad place to be an innocent person accused of one.

Happy New Year

Last Night I had to go to the store and it was insane. I'm not sure I've ever seen it that busy before. I suspect that's because it was payday on top of new years eve. There were what seemed like hundreds of people buying snacks and alcohol and I saw one couple buying condoms. Do you know what I was buying? Baby formula and Ramens. Yep my new years was as off the hook as it sounds. I was woken up at 11:59 by fireworks and it took a couple minutes before I figured out what the heck was going on. Apparently someone in the neighborhood has connections because there were some impressive fire works exploding right outside my house. Luckily Fiona slept through the whole 20 minute noise fest or else I would have been showing the neighbors an exciting new place to put a bottle rocket.