And Another Thing

Also I thought "A land called Honah lee" had something to do with my grandma Lelia.

The Way My Mind Works

When I was little and I would recite the alphabet I had the mistaken idea that LMNO was related to cantaloupe.

What Do You Call Cheese That Doesn't Belong to You?*

Conversation at Taco Bell Drive through

Me: (after examining order in the bag) We didn't get the cheese for the chips

TB Worker: (suspiciously) Are you sure?

Me: Yeah I just checked (holds out bag to her) see chips but no cheese.

TB Worker: (hands over cheese with an disgruntles "I just got riped off" look) Have a nice day (& we all know what that means**)

We drive off

Me: Did she honestly think I was trying to swindle her out of a tiny cup of melted fake cheese?

Dave: It sure seemed like it

Me: Yes 'cause that's the sort of things people do, con there way to three cents worth of cheese.

Dave: You go to all the different Taco Bells and trick them in to giving you extra cheese and then sell it back to Taco Bell and make a sweet profit.

Me: That's even better thanmy coffee plan.

* Nacho cheese (and if you haven't heard that one you haven't been reading enough gum wrappers)

** Have a nice day is sometimes code for F**k you.

The Dresden Files (TV Show)

I'm a fan of the books. I'd seen the show a few times before and not been impressed but that could be 'cause I was watching it in the middle of the night (insomnia) and didn't actually know what the plot was.

I recommend the books, the show still fails to impress. I think it might be alright if you haven't read the books.

If you have read the books:
It should be a VW Bug not a Jeep
Harry's to short
Murphy's to old and not blond (I don't suppose this or the above matters but still)
Murphy is so NOT a mom
Why is Harry carrying a hockey stick instead of a magic staff?
Where's Thomas? (you know how I like Vampires)
Harry can't cook
Bob isn't a ghost and shouldn't manifest

Speaking of Bob (and getting to the point of this post) the few times I watched the show I kept thinking the actor looked familiar but couldn't figure out why. I thought it might be because he resembles Tim Curry. Turns out Bob is played by Terrence Mann. You might be saying who? I on the other hand am a huge theatre nerd. Terrance Mann played The Rumtumtugger in the original cast of Cat's, Javert in Les Miserables (I can't remember if it was the Original London cast or the Broadway cast but either way), Cheuvlein in the Scarlett Pimpernell, and a whole bunch of other things including Frank N' Furter in a revival of The Rocky Horror Picture Show (I'm not the only one who noticed the resemblance to Tim Curry).

That's been bugging me for years! Such a relief.

Prrrrrrrr

You know how when you're getting a massage and the end of the session comes you wish they'd just keep going?

I imagine that's what it's like to be a cat getting your ears scratched.

21 Months Going On 16

Conversation in the kitchen

Dave: Here's your juice

Fiona: Thate oo

Dave: You're welcome

Fiona: Weoh weoh blith

Dave: I don't know what you just said

Fiona: You suck

Dave: Did she just tell me I suck?

Me: Pfffffttt ha ha ha ha snort

Fiona: Giggle

One of Many Reasons My House is Always Filthy

Things to do last weekend

Clean our room (Not Done)
Clean master bathroom (Not Done)
Clean kitchen (Not Done)
Clean floors (Not Done)
Clean living room (Not Done)
Clean Fiona's room (Not Done)
Read a book (Done, I read the whole thing)

Fall

Time to get out all the unflattering cold weather clothes ::sigh::

Passing Lane

Ya know how when you're walking down a sidewalk or hallway and you meet someone else going the other direction you instinctively move to the right? Do you think if you went to England or Australia or somewhere else where they drive on the left you'd wind up having sidewalk confusion.

Note to Self

If you're going to wear pants where the zipper keeps falling down perhaps bright red underwear is not the best choice.

Time Warp

I'm remarkably bad about staying in touch with people. Part of that is because I have this aversion to phones. Seriously I'll do almost anything before I pick up a phone, ordering Pizza is causes me major anxiety (yes I know I'm crazy, see title of blog).

This is why I like the Internet. Email doesn't cause me any stress, blogging is an easy way to update people on your life (admittedly my blog may be lacking in actual info), and social networking sites like Myspace and Facebook have allowed me to reconnect with many people I hadn't talked to in years.

The weird result of reconnecting with people is I forget that time has passed. Just because I'm in my 30's got married and started a family is no reason why any of them should have aged or grown up in any way.

I was looking at a friends pictures today and got quite a shock. I knew she had kids, she already had her oldest daughter when we used to work together. In fact I used to sit for her occasionally and hers was the first diaper I ever changed.

Oh look cute pictures of the kids
Awww sweet smile
Who's that woman?
Woman?

I read the caption. It was the oldest daughter, the one who was 3 ish last time I saw her. I did the math and realised she was probably about 15 now.

Is Fiona gonna do that? Grow up? I do not approve.

Multiple Choice

A) Touching family photo

B) Dani holding Fiona still so Dave could take her picture

You decide

I Used To Be That Girl

Friday after work I took Fiona to the grocery store. There were lots of other moms with kids and everyone was waiving at each other and commenting on the cuteness of the kids. We go to the cookie dough area (a staple) and there was this girl there probably mid 20's clearly on her way some where. She had on this short tight little black dress and these hot pink stilettos, her hair was all done up and she had on about twenty five pounds of well applied makeup. I was thinking some very catty uncharitable thoughts at her that involved words like tamp until Fiona waived at her and said, "Hi" and her face lit up and she said, "Oh my god, what a cutie!" then I thought, "She's such a nice girl.". I realised what a hypocrite I was being and leaned in to Fiona to tell her, "Mama used to look just like that".

I Always Wanted to Play Maggie the Cat

The warm weather thunderstorm going on makes me feel like I'm in a Tennessee Williams play.

This is How Domestic I Am Not

I should probably already know this but I just had to look up how to bake a potato. Can you tell Dave does most of the cooking?

Wow When Did This Happen?

This morning I came out of the bathroom to see Fiona with my car keys.

Fiona: Uh Oh

I can hear the car alarm going off. I grab the keys and run out to turn it off. I come back in all irritated.

Fiona: Sorry

Me: (Blink blink) It's okay sweety.

How'd she get so polite and when did we start having actual conversations?

Update

Dad's still in the hospital but out of the ICU. They still don't know exactly what's wrong so he's staying there for now. I'll be visiting him tomorrow.

My new niece has arrived and is cute as a button. Fiona was fascinated by her and was still saying "Mama the baby, oh no the baby" when I was putting her to bed.

I'll return to attempting to be funny soon. Things have just been a bit too crazy for me to think my usual nonsense.

I'm an Auntie!

Okay fine I already was an Auntie so...I'm an Auntie again yay!

Mixed Message

I started working out again. I'm actually quite pleased it wasn't as hard as last time I started and I've had a baby since then. It's strange because I don't think I've weighed this much since high school. I know most people were thinner at that age than at 34 but I lost 20 pounds in the year after I graduated. Any how lets hope I get myself back to my less flabby self soon. I'll let ya'll know if it's going well..... if it doesn't go well we will never speak of this again.

On a completely unrelated note my Dad's in the ICU. I'm a little freaked out. They haven't figured out what exactly is wrong. Ummm I don't really have a point here, just releasing a little tension.

Random Story

A post on Roses site made me remember this story (well & it came up last weekend). Hi Roses!

A few years ago the city was doing some work across the street from our house. I'm not sure what they were doing but they cut a big hole in the sidewalk. I'm sure they had every intention of fixing it but before they could it rained. The watter filled the whole and seeped in to some power lines which knocked out half the power in our neighborhood.

"What's so interesting about that?, you ask. Well I'll tell ya. When I say it knocked out half the power in the neighborhood I don't mean that half the houses lost power. I mean that all the houses lost half their power. We had power in half the plugs in the kitchen, no power in the bedrooms but full power in the bathrooms and power in one side of the living room. We called PG&E and they said they'd come fix it in the morning but someone needed to be there so I stayed home from work. Luckily the TV was in the functioning half of the living room. Unfortunately the refrigerator was not in the functioning half of the kitchen and I had an almost full package of cream puffs melting away so I made a great personal sacrifice and ate them all.

Still Needs a Binky

Fiona: (From back seat)::gag::

Me: Don't put your fingers so far back in your mouth silly.

Fiona: ::gag::

Me: If you keep doing that you'll make yourself throw up

Fiona: ::GAG!!!!::

Me: Awwww Maaaaaan!

My favorite part was how the car smelled like barf the whole way home when I already had a queasy stomach. I also enjoyed knowing my hands were NOT clean and there was nothing I could do about it.

Being a Mom is great!

I'm So Rumbly In My Tumbly

I think I'm having sympathy pains for my pregnant sister in law who is now over due....or it's gas.