See You Next Year

Yeah I know, sorry 'couldn't be helped.

I'm too lazy to think of something witty (or even interesting) to say today. (Honestly I just spent an hour reading a wikipedia entry about a cartoon, very busy here). Have a great holiday. Personally I plan to stay home and be sound asleep long before midnight but party on if that's what makes you happy.

Are You Calling Me Fat?

Pet peeve

Me: I'll have a Coke

Wait person: Diet?

Me: No

or

Wait person: Would you like a refill

Me: Yes please

Wait person: Diet coke?

Me: No regular


When did diet become the default?

I Wasn't Interested Any Way But

Arguing with me about whether my hair is parted on the side or in the middle will not endear you to me.

There Is A Special Place Waiting For This Guy

Some of you may have seen this story. I doubt it made the national news but I know you're all awesome people many of whom like animals so I'm going to share.

A Fisherman frustrated by the face that a seal kept stealing his fish decided that the most rational and mature action he could take (not to mention kind) was to shoot it in the face. Luckily the person who was fishing with him turned him in. I believe there was also another witness who called the police.

The good news and reason I decided to post this is a lady we work with volunteers at the Marnie Mammal Centre and reports that the seal is healing. They are not sure if he will ever be well enough to be returned to the wild but they are hopeful. In any case his prognosis is good and he's eating forty pounds of fish a day.

Here are a few links to news stories related to this if you'd like to know more.

http://www.kcra.com/news/21686329/detail.html

http://www.kcra.com/news/21686329/detail.html

http://www.kcra.com/news/21888582/detail.html

http://www.kcra.com/news/21946726/detail.html

Even Better Than Darth Vader

So remember this ?

Frank N' Furter reading a Christmas Carol even better.Come on that is just all kinds of awesome.

Merry Christmas to all.

And to All a Good Night

When I was little I remember thinking getting coal in my stocking wasn't really a bad thing, I'd just give it to my Dad so he could barbecue.

Hope Santa brings you what ever your heart desires, unless you don't celebrate Christmas in which case I hope you get what ever you want some other way.

Lots of love to all my readers
Dani

Run Run Run Just As Fast As You Can

I was wrapping up a plate of gingerbread cookies to take to work

Mom: Oh is your team having a party?

Me: No I just knew we wouldn't eat all these and thought I'd share.

Mom: That's nice of you. (Pause) People don't get enough food this time of year.

Me: Touche

Yet Another Confession

I like fruitcake. There I said it.

Best Christmas Present Ever

When your very young you get a surprise party every year because you don't even know it's your birthday.

Happy birthday baby girl!

Oh and if you could keep the terrible twos behavior to a minimum that'd be great. Thanks.

Well It Made Me Laugh

You know why this is funny?

see more Lolcats and funny pictures



Because....

My Grandma Didn't Think It Was Funny Either

Dave: (Singing) Grandma got run over by a reindeer...



Fiona NO!!!!!!!!

Bored Again

I wish I had some color pencils here. I'm designing outfits. Outfits I'd never wear but still fun.

Conversation As We We're Going To Sleep

Vladi jumped up next to my pillow. I scooted over to make him a spot to lie down.

Me: There's always room for Meowsers. (pensive silence) He's just like jello.

Dave: I don't think they make jello pudding pops any more.

Me: They don't?

Dave: I haven't seen em.

Me: Now that's just tragic

I'll Take Option C

Overheard conversation:


Person 1: Oh that's gonna happen there's no doubt about it.

Person 2: One way or the other it's going down?

Person 3: It's not the one way I'm worried about but that other....

He Knows If You've Been Naughty

We took Fiona to get her picture with Santa. We were the second family in line cool hu? Yeah not so much, the first family had eight kids, six of which were WAY to old for visiting Santa (even the two youngest were borderline probably tenish) so Fiona was getting pretty cranky by the time it was our turn. She got all excited when Santa arrived, "Look a Santa!" but she was more interested in admiring him for a distance actually being handed to him was not on her agenda. Like many two year olds she cried so after waiting all that time we didn't get a picture but latter that night.....



So it's not all bad. Maybe next year she'll be more interested in actually meeting Santa. I mean dude he's not someone ya want to diss.

Unexpected Behavior

Last night after Dave put Fiona to bed I could hear her making noise and calling for us so I went to see if I could get her to go to sleep. I could see the light under her door that meant she'd been playing with the light switch (we put a child proof cover over it but she figured it out in about ten minutes) so I went in and found a completely nude child dancing in her crib. Her jammies and diaper were on the floor where she'd thrown them. I know I shouldn't laugh but I was not expecting that.

So far today she's striped down twice. We're trying not to make a big deal about it but she just peed on the floor. Someday she's going to be really pissed at me for posting this which I feel is fair.

Because I'm Stubborn Like That

5 Things I've never done & intend to go the rest of my life without doing.



1. Eaten Bologna

2. The Macarena

3. Watched Wheel of Fortune

4. Been stung by a bee*

5. Smoked a cigarette





*Obviously I don't actually have any control over this but I'm certainly not going to volunteer to be stung.

So That's Why She's Sleeping Better

Fiona: (handing Dave her sippy cup of OJ) Here you go Daddy



Dave: Do ya want some Vodka in that?



Fiona: Okay Daddy.



Me: You're not making her a Screwdriver



Dave: I'm just helping you out. It's your turn to put her to bed.

Maturity Is Over Rated

So ya know what I did this weekend? Watched Christmas specials. I haven't had a good excuse for years.



Actually I watched them all two years ago because I was 37 weeks pregnant and didn't want to do anything that involved leaving the house or putting on pants. Of coarse I wound up putting on pants and leaving the house to take Dave to the emergency room but that's a whole other story.

A Short List of Yogurt Flavors I Hope Never Exist

1. Taco


2. Salmon


3. Peanut Butter


4. Champagne


5. Barbecue

I Know I've Said This Before But....

Global warming my a**! There is a freaking snow warning for the SF bay area. SNOW!

I'm Known For My Mad Snowflake Skills

The phone on my desk was ringing. I didn't want to pick it up because I assumed someone wanted to ask me about work. I answered any way.

Reception: Hey Dani can you come up here and evaluate some paper for paper snowflakes.

Me: blink blink

Reception: Are you there?

Me: Yeah I'll be right up.

I Clean Up Real Nice

After getting ready for the day I walked in to the living room and picked Fiona up.


Fiona: Oooooooo pretty

Me: Thank you sweetie

Fiona: (pushing my face so Dave could see) Daddy look a pretty

Me: (trying to face Fiona) Thank you

Fiona: No (turning me to face Dave again) Daddy look a pretty

Dave: Yes very pretty



That totally made my day

Overheard

I don't sleep enough therefore I'm not very good at it.

An Interesting Perspective

Coworker: (on the phone) Well actually I'm crazed this afternoon but go ahead and assign it to me, I'll do my best. Dani is more than happy to help me.



Me: (yelling over the cube wall) I can hear you.



Coworker: (ignoring me)I feel fully confident in saying she doesn't mind. Yeah, okay, thank you. (hangs up phone)



Me: It's lovely here under the bus.