Wednesday, September 23, 2015

A friend is someone who gives you total freedom to be yourself.-Jim Morrison

Last night I Googled, "How to make friends in your 40's." Yes I know it is completely ridiculous that I had to Google that. That is how bad I am at it.

I do have friends but none of them live in hanging out distance. Most actually live in other states (or countries). After almost 5 years living up here I really think I should enlarge my social circle to include people who aren't Dave and the girls.

The Internet was not helpful*. Every suggestion I found said I should join a "Mommy group" or "Find other Moms who..." Which is stupid. Saying I should be friends with other women just because we all happen to have working girly parts (or did have at one time) is like saying we should all bond over sharing recipes and housekeeping tips. It's dated, sexist, and condescending. I have no objection to making friends who are Moms but I know I'd get bored if that was all there was in common. 

Usually I make friends at work. But though I like many of my coworkers that hasn't happened at this job. I think that's because my job is almost all men.  I used to have lots of male friends but somehow it is almost impossible to make friends with the opposite sex when you're middle aged married people. If you ask someone if they want to swing by Taco Bell with you at lunch time they might think it's euphemism for something else. Like some dirty joke where the punchline is "Burrito".  You have to worry if they will think you are coming on to them and they have to worry that you might be coming on to them and all any of you actually want is some damn nachos.

*If you're keeping count the subjects the Internet has failed me on are pet bunnies, how to grow tomatoes, and making friends.


Roses said...

I'll see your mostly male office staff and raise you a generational gap.
When I tag along on Taco Bell lunch runs (Burrito!!!), I'm usually on the outside of Magic The Gathering strategic planning.
Furthermore, I'm on the cusp of getting my grown children out of my house while 7 people in the office have welcomed their first child into the world.

Like you, I don't think I'll find any friends at my job, either.

Dani said...

I was surprised to find out this is a common problem. That does make me feel a little better at least I'm not alone in being alone.