If I had to choose, I would rather have birds than airplanes.-Charles Lindbergh

To my fellow travelers

Dear lady sitting behind me on the plane home,

Keep your manky feet to yourself. I shouldn't have to glance over to see if my child has fallen asleep and find your dry flaky foot perched on the arm rest between us. First off that's rude second it's called a pedicure look in to it.

Dear man in front of me on the same flight,

If I wanted to listen to a movie I'd have brought my own DVD player. Buy a set of headphones you inconsiderate schmuck.

Sincerely,

The lady that hopes you both caught her stomach flu