Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Passing On My Wisdom to the Next Generation

During the coarse of my 33 years of cat ownership I've developed a theory when it comes to training. Cat's don't respond to the same type of discipline as dogs or people. If you smack the cat's butt for peeing on the floor the cat just makes plans to pee on your pillow when you're not looking.

What does work, for me at least, is humiliation. It shows the cat who's boss. I am bigger than you kitty and I'm way more mean despite my lack of claws (actually my nails ARE pretty long).

For example Vladi doesn't like bare skin. So if he makes me mad I'll pick him up and rub him all over my belly. I know it sounds crazy but it works.

As I've explained before he and Fiona worship each other. But because she hasn't always been as gentle with him as she is now he doesn't entirely trust her. Last weekend Fiona, Vladi and I were sitting on the big arm chair in our living room and she was trying to pet him. After a while he didn't want her touching him anymore so he sort of pretended to bite her. He didn't actually get any ware near her he just let her know he wasn't happy. However she's the human so she out ranks him and I think he needs to know that. So I decided to teach Fiona proper cat discipline I picked him up turned him on his back (which he hates) got a firm grasp on his paws (safety first) and burzurped his belly. If he could shoot fire out his eyes I'd be one crispy critter. Fiona laughed and laughed. She may look like Daddy but she's her mothers daughter.

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