Friday, August 8, 2008

Parenting Is Not Easy

No one told us how hard being parents was going to be. When people talked about the difficulties it was things like poopy diapers and not getting enough sleep. No one said "This is going to be hard."

I love my daughter and she is so much fun to be around but she screamed for 3 months straight. I'm not kidding and I'm only exaggerating because she didn't scream when she was sleeping or eating but the rest of the time yeah. Kids got some pipes let me tell you.

At the 3 month mark it was like magic. Dave and I said who's this and where did our screaming baby go? Then we decided we liked this baby better so whoever had our screamer could keep her (I kid, you take my baby I'll hurt you).

Nowadays she's happy most of the time and listening to her laugh is the greatest thing I've ever experienced. But she's still hard work. We've been working on teaching her to sleep better and this has been hard on all of us. Poor Dave only got an hour or two of sleep last night because it was his turn with her. I slept a little better than he did but it's not like I could just ignore her when she was crying since it wasn't my turn.

I'm saying all this not to complain or scare anyone who hasn't got kids yet. I'm saying it because nobody told us and people should be warned.

#1. Yes it's hard. Some babies are easier than others but they are all work. It's okay to feel tired and even frustrated that's perfectly normal.

#2. You are allowed to not love every second of being a parent. No one says "you know what I enjoy? screaming babies"

#3. It is okay to ask for help. Whether it's asking someone to babysit for a few hours or it's going to a therapist. It's not weakness to not be able to do this entirely alone.

#4. Despite what you read in the parenting books you may not feel an instant connection with your baby when they are handed to you. Lots of Moms don't "fall in love" rite away and feel that they've somehow failed because of it. Did you fall in love with your spouse rite away? Do you make instant friends with people? In most cases your affection for someone grows over time it's okay for your relationship with your child to be the same way.

#5. You will get through this. Whatever "this" is for you. Collic, bad sleeping habits, tantrums, ear infections it all passes eventually.

I'm loving being a parent and I'm looking forward to my family and friends having babies. I'll be there to let them know parenting is not easy.

1 comment:

Michelle said...

nope, it's never easy. but nothing worth doing ever is.

and just when you think you've got it figured out...they throw something new at you