While we were in Florida I somehow got a really impressive bruise. It was about 5 inches long and about 2 inches across. I have no idea how I manged to get it (which makes it a UPB) particularly since it was on the inside of my calf which is a hard place to injure.
Since it was crazy hot I was wearing shorts a lot and someone noticed and asked what happened. As I was explaining what a UPB was Fiona piped up.
Fiona: Daddy did it
Me: (shocked but laughing) WHAT?!
Fiona: (Turning to Dave) Daddy don't hit Mama!
Dave: (also shocked but amused) Okay, no hitting Mama.
I'm just glad we were with his family who know A. Dave would NEVER hit me or Fiona and, B. if he was ever that stupid I'd hit him right back.