Moon hangs around a blade over my head and reminds me what to do before I'm dead.-Kidney Thieves, Before I'm Dead

If you haven't seen the list of things I don't want to do before I die yet you simply must click on the hyperlink.

I must admit that I've done #10 and it was a miserable experience and as to #1 I can think of one or two friends I'd probably enjoy Vegas with though we'd be more likely to spend our time in nice restaurants drinking expensive wine than...ya know doing anything that needed to remain in Vegas.

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.-Bill Vaughn

Alright I got this from Leann.

Take the first sentence from the first post of each month of 2011. That’s your year in review.

January: New Years Eve Dani Style
February:I was just trying to eat a bowl of soup when...
March: Speech to the kitty
April: Dishing out a second helping of fruit cocktail to Fiona
May:Fiona and Dave were being goofy and making each other laugh.
June: Guess what this is? If you said deep fried lemon....man are you good as were these tasty fried treats.
July: Does this happen to any one else?
August: Conversation on Wednesday
September: Our niece K was over visiting.
October: Fiona and I made brownies the night before.
November: Once again Roses reminded me of something.
December: Once again Facebook confuses me.

Now I am obsessed with collecting Platypus paraphernalia.-Trevor Dunn

I ran out of books to read (again) so I started re reading and found a Taco bell club card from the Taco bell on the base when I worked at the bank. 

 I've always had the habit of using anything at hand as a bookmark and then leaving it in the book when I'm done. There's a scene in Have His Carcase by Dorothy L. Sayers where they have to go through the books of a character who has this same habit to find a clue as to why the victim was killed. I know nothing in my books is important but I started wondering what else I'd find in there so I decided to do some bookshelf archeology.

Here's what I found:

Hundreds of post it's and sticky flags (I didn't pull them out, wasn't worth the bother)
two blank pieces of paper, one lined one unlined
A receipt from Kaiser from 2004 (I had to get my ear cleaned out in case you wondered)
An add for a Coca-Colla themed toy train for under your Christmas tree
A pizza receipt
A Safeway receipt for a Nestle Crunch, a lime, a bottle of Stoli, and a bottle of cosmo mix from 1999
A pay stub from 2001
A receipt from getting my 1st car towed in 1998
A phone message slip from when I was a receptionist 10 or so years ago
A piece of note paper with a puppy on it and 62663 written on it (I have no clue what it means)
Another receipt from Kaiser. I'm not sure what it was for but on the back are the name, phone number, and licence plate of the guy who rear ended me two cars ago (approximately 13-14 years)
A note scheduling an anointment to meet our wedding photographer
A blank receipt from the music store I worked in with my friend Kali's phone number on it
A receipt from a book store
A post it with an old co-workers email address
A post it with another old co-workers phone number
A post it with 6851 written on it (again no clue)
A post it with three dollar signs drawn on it
Some notes for a temp job I had 13 years ago
A letter I wrote to my friend Nugget 11/13/98 but apparently never mailed in an envelope with an Enterprise rent a car post it stuck to it
Bookmarks from 5 different book stores
A return slip my teachers had to sign when I came back to school after being sick in March 1990 (which would make me a Freshman and is easily the oldest thing I found)
A business card from the place my Mom used to work 7 years ago
A business card for Spanish lessons (not sure where I got that)
A Gambit bookmark
A frog bookmark
A tiny little envelope containing 1 half of the combination to the vault from the bank I worked at (I'm at a complete loss as to why I would have had that but since we had to change it about twice a month I'm guessing it must have been out of date before I had a chance to deal with it properly)

I keep coming back to you in my head, but you couldn't know that, and I have no carbons.-Adrienne Rich

Dave and Fiona are back off to the snow and once again I remain home enjoying some quality Dani time FOR AN ENTIRE WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Sure AK is irritated with me because I'm not coming along to hang with them. But to that I say, "Nah nah nah nah nah. I get free time and you don't."



A few of the things I plan to do with all that free time.



Watch non kid friendly movies

Eat whatever I feel like

Take several long hot baths

Dance around in front of the mirror as I always do when no one is around (I make no apologies)

Sleep in as late as I want

Stay in my pajamas (old ratty t-shirt and stretch pants) from the time I get up until I go back to bed

Possibly spend the whole day in bed



Ahhhhhh



I will miss them

Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year's resolutions, and I've stuck with it ever since.-Dave Beard

New Years Eve Dani Style

8 (something) am: Dave was making noise packing up. I stayed in bed a read a book.

9 ish: Fiona got up Dave gave her breakfast. I answered questions about where things were. Eventually got out of bed and got Fiona dressed, even brushed her hair.

9:30 ish said bye and watched them drive off to the snow. Why didn't I go you ask? Well one I still wasn't feeling that great and two I HATE snow. It's cold and wet and involves physical activity which I never do for fun. Poured a cup of coffee and went back to bed with my book.

10:30: Took shower and used Netti pot because I had a headache. Got dressed put on make up and did my hair in an effort to convince myself I felt better. It worked.

11:00: Checked mail. Discovered DVD from Netflix. Put it in watched three episodes of Twin Peaks.

1:30 pm: Drove to Taco Bell. Drove back home. Watched another episode of Twin Peaks. Put DVD back in the mail.

3:00: Put on headphones and danced in front of the mirror till I had a really bad coughing fit. FYI I do this any time no one is around. It's fun and good exercise but a bit goofy so I don't like anyone to see me do it.

4:00: Watched Queen of the Damned.

6:00: Took a bath and continued to read book.

7:00: Watched second half of Two Towers. I'd watched the first half a while back when I had a free day also the Battle of Helms Deep is the best part of the movie.

7:30: Made some noodles for dinner.

8:00: Finished Two Towers put in Return of the King.

9:00: Debated opening a bottle of wine (see I was feeling better). Decided against it.

10:00: In bed with book.

11:15: Dave got home with Fiona.

12:00: In Fiona's room trying to get a seriously overstimulated kid to go to sleep. Did not kiss her. Eventually got her to go down around 12:15

1:00 New year day: Sound asleep.

Also I can kill you with my brain-River Tam (Firefly)

A list of TV shows I loved but were canceled way to soon.


Firefly

Dead Like Me

Dark Shadows (the revamped one in the 90's. OMG revamped, wholly bad pun batman. Sorry 'bout that)

My So Called Life

The Tick (the animated one)

Drive


Hey look I made a Nathan Fillion sandwich full of vampires, other misc. supernatural and weirdness, and teen angst. No wonder Buffy was my favorite show ever.


*Note: When I Googled "quotes about canceled tv shows" the first thing that comes up is the IMDB page for Firefly. Cartoon network revived interest in Family Guy so Fox uncanceled it. Comedy Central brought Futurama back from the dead after years and years. Hey Sci Fi how about you bring back Firefly? Pleeeeeeese (bats eyelashes and gives pouty lip).

Like a Ninja of love repelling down from above-Love Handle, You Snuck Your Way in to My Heart

There are two kinds of earworm (song that gets stuck in your head).

The kind that is really annoying and makes you want to jab a chop stick in your ear to kill it, generally from children's programing or commercials.

Side note: I remember one time my brother wandered in to the kitchen singing a tampon jingle and my Mom and I had to try to explain to him that he should stop without giving him way more info than he needed at seven.

The other kind of earworm is just as invasive but less painful. It's the kind that is just so darn catchy you have to go buy the song and listen to it 500 times in a row until it looses it's grip on your brain (Friday's post in my case).

Here's a list of some of the earworms that have joined my catalogue for better or worse.

Santeria-Sublime
The Lion Sleeps Tonight-The Tokens
Pretty Fly For a White Guy-Offspring
Livin' La Vida Loca-Ricky Martin
Bring Me to Live-Evanescence
How Bizarre-OMC
Stayin' Alive-The BeeGees
These Boots are Made for Walking-Nancy Sinatra
Smooth-Santana
1985-Bowling for Soup
9 to 5-Dolly Parton
Killing Me Softly-The Fugges
Where'd You Go-Fort Minor
Kick the Bass-Julien K
Love Fool-The Cardigans

What gets stuck in your head?

Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.-Caryn Leschen

A list of things I DON'T want for my birthday

To have a star named after me

Any kind of shirt with an animal printed on it

The soundtrack (or anything else) to Love Never Dies (the sequel to Phantom)*

Lederhosen**

To acknowledge in any way that I'm now 35



*Sadly I would put money on my Mom buying this for me if she ever hears of it's existence.

**Just kidding that would be awesome

Pinky: "Gee, Brain, what do you want to do tonight?" Brain: "The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world!"-Pinky and the Brain

My all time favorite cartoons in no particular order



Scooby doo

Ren and Stimpy

Phineas and Ferb

The Simpsons

South Park

The Powerpuff Girls

Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.-Samuel Butler

5 Reasons Evil bunnies are better than a toddler



They don't make any noise



There are more Monty Python references to be made



They eat the fox tails in the backyard (actually I suppose she might if we let her)



If I get mad at them it's okay to lock them in the backyard



They're awfully cute. Oh wait that one doesn't work.

All man's troubles come from not knowing how to sit still in one room.-Blaise Pascal, Pensées, 1670

Things I could have been doing Saturday morning rather than sitting around being bored.

1. Touring the world in my very own rock band. Don't let the fact that I can't read or write music worry you, there are plenty of people who tour who don't have any talent.

2. Cornering the worlds coffee market in the first step in my plan of world domination.

3. Create the worlds largest cookie and invite 10,000 of my closest friends to help eat it.

Brush With Celebrity

Famous people I've met

James Hetfield (from Metallica)-Came in to music/video store I worked in. I helped him find a Raiders video. He was very polite and called me by name. He lived in the town I grew up in and I'm told other people who met him said he wasn't very nice but I though he was very pleasant. Maybe they met him on a bad day.

Greg Allman (from the Allman Brothers)-Also came in the the music/video store. I do not have nice things to say about Mr. Allman. I don't want to get sued for defamation or slander or anything so I'm not gonna tell the story here but ask me sometime and I'll tell you all about it. (note to self should really get a contact me email set up)

Mario Cipollina (from Huey Lewis and the News)-Lived in my neighborhood. I went to his house for trick or treating. They always had good candy. Not sure why he didn't live in a fancier neighborhood.

Comon Denominator

Jobs I've had



Dog Kennel (closed)

Yogurt Shop/Cafe (closed while I worked there)

Music/Video Store (closed while I worked there)

Credit Card Company (closed)

Insurance Agency (apparently closed, at least they are no longer in the phonebook)

Annuity Company (closed)

Bank (Still open but apparently bought)

My current company........dun dun dun!!!!

Resolutions

I don't like resolutions. It's not that I'm opposed to taking a look at your life and deciding to make a change for the better. What I'm opposed to is setting an arbitrary deadline to force yourself in to making promises you don't actually intend to keep.



In that spirit* my resolution for the last ten years or so has been to stop smoking. As I've never smoked a cigarette in my life this has gone very well.



I've decided that this year I would make a list of things I have no intention of stopping and of coarse I'm sharing it with you. Fair waring at least one of these falls in to the category of TMI.



#1. I will continue to sleep with teddy bear. Her name is Johanna and I've had her since I was ten.



#2. I will continue to have way to many pets. Clearly failing at this one would be very sad.



#3. (TMI warning) I will continue to do a little naked dance while I wait for the shower to heat up. When it's cold this is a necessity but most of the time it's just fun.





*Strange little side note somehow I originally typed spitting instead of spirit and that made me laugh

Because I'm Stubborn Like That

5 Things I've never done & intend to go the rest of my life without doing.



1. Eaten Bologna

2. The Macarena

3. Watched Wheel of Fortune

4. Been stung by a bee*

5. Smoked a cigarette





*Obviously I don't actually have any control over this but I'm certainly not going to volunteer to be stung.

A Short List of Yogurt Flavors I Hope Never Exist

1. Taco


2. Salmon


3. Peanut Butter


4. Champagne


5. Barbecue

One of Many Reasons My House is Always Filthy

Things to do last weekend

Clean our room (Not Done)
Clean master bathroom (Not Done)
Clean kitchen (Not Done)
Clean floors (Not Done)
Clean living room (Not Done)
Clean Fiona's room (Not Done)
Read a book (Done, I read the whole thing)

Unsurprising Confession

I'm a picky eater. People who know me are are saying, "No s*#t Sherlock" right now. I mean I am really really picky. I could try to give you a list of the things I won't eat but it would be faster to give you a list of things I will eat. That would still be kinda boring (carrots, chicken, bananas. etc.) Soooooo.



My top 5 FAVORITE foods. (If I like em ya know they're pretty good)



Caprese Salad (only I don't eat the tomatoes, they're on the other list)

Sizzling Rice Soup

Chicken Florentine

Smashed Yams with brown sugar, vanilla, and butter

Chocolate Mousse (Again my friends are saying, "Well duh!")


Strangely (and this was unintentional) that would make a pretty good multi cultural four course meal.

I'm Too Old to Sound This Young

Words I really need to work on omitting from my vocabulary, or at least begin using correctly:

Dude-As in, "Dude, that is crazy"

Like-As in, "And I'm like, that is not cool"

All-As in, "He's all grumpy now"

Books I Can Read Over and Over Again (and Probably Have)

Gone with the Wind-Margaret Mitchell

Watership Down-Richard Adams (I know this one comes up a lot sorry)

Alice in Wonderland-Lewis Caroll

Bussmans Honeymoon-Dorothy L. Sayers

Partners in Crime-Agatha Christie

The Hobbit-J.R.R. Tolkein

The Talisman-Stephen King and Peter Straub

Hitchickers Guide to the Galaxy-Douglas Adams