Families are about love overcoming emotional torture. -Matt Groening

Q: Ya know what's even more hilarious/evil than using a laser pointer to drive the cat insane?

A: Handing said pointer to a 4 year old.

I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad mood.-Bill Watterson

We've been putting off turning on the heater 'cause we're cheap. It hasn't been so bad mostly just cold enough to put on a sweater over what you're wearing. But I suspect it may be time soon because the cat who hates to be covered up climbed under the blankets on our bed to take a nap yesterday.

Ya know it's cold when the family members with fur coats want a blanket.

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.-Casey Stengel*

There must be a law that if you leave your book open face down to save your place a cat WILL come sleep on it. If you don't have a cat a neighbors cat will wander in and sleep on it for you.
And yes I know your not supposed to leave your books open face down because it's bad for the spine. But honestly on the list of Dani's bad habits that one is outranked by so many other things it's not even worth mentioning (now there's an idea, who's interested in a list of my bad habits?). This does not stop me from blaming the cat.

*Since I've already used A LOT of cat and or book quotes I just went with something that made me smile.

This is a fierce bad rabbit; look at his savage whiskers,and his claws and his turned-up tail.-Beatrix Potter

I call Fiona "Bunny". Ya know as a term of endearment. If I call her "sweetie" or " honey" or "darling" she corrects me and says, "No Mommy, call me Bunny." So she's Bunny.

People who hear me call her Bunny probably just think "Cute little girl, cute little animal makes perfect sense." But of coarse they don't know my history with bunnies. If they did they'd probably wonder why I call my daughter after such awful pets. In actuality it's a reference to our cat.

Once long long ago when I'd never owned rabbits, wasn't a mother, and wasn't even married yet I got a kitten. He was black and made this adorable little blood thirsty face when he was playing so being me I named him Vladimir after Vlad the impaler (ya know Dracula). He was my baby and I loved him to death. One evening when he was sitting with his rear end pointed at me the way cats do I observed that his butt looked just like a rabbits except for the tail. From then on I called him Bunnybutt ' (who calls their pets by their actual names?) which was eventually shortened to just Bunny.

So when Fiona was born it was just natural for me to call my baby who I loved to death Bunny. Vladi doesn't mind sharing his nickname and Fiona doesn't know I'm calling her the cat's butt.

I love cats because I enjoy my home; and little by little, they become its visible soul.-Jean Cocteau

Me: Fiona leave the cat alone. See how his ears are all flat and his tail is twitching. That's means he doesn't want to be touched.

Fiona: (crossing her arms and frowning dramatically) No Vladi needs to leave me alone.

Me: Okay. Vladi don't pet Fiona she's grumpy. There, now if he pets you he gets a time out.

I have a present for you, but I need to borrow your arms for wrapping paper. -Unknown

You know how sometimes on really hot days your cat (or dog maybe) will decide that this is the perfect time to cuddle up right next to you, and you don't want to tell them to go away even though it's way to hot for cuddling because normally they would much rather ignore you than show any sort of affection so you sit there and suffer because you know you are lucky to get the attention?

Substitute the word cat with Fiona and you have a perfect description of my morning.

If cats could talk, they wouldn't.-Nan Porter

Fiona: He's mad at me.

Me: Someone is mad at you?

Fiona: Vladi.

Me: Oh well don't worry about that, cats are moody. Cats were EMO before it was cool to be EMO.

When a dog barks at the moon, then it is religion; but when he barks at strangers, it is patriotism!-David Starr Jordan

Our neighbors have 5 dogs. FIVE DOGS! Five either Beagle or part Beagle mixes (seriously a Beagle, a Puggle, then those two had three puppies). Now I don't know how familiar you are with Beagles and their ilk but they bark A LOT!



We're animal people so we try to be tolerant. Also we're renters so we want to be on good terms with the neighbors. Buuuuuuuut it's fairly annoying. Luckily the bedrooms are on the other side of the house so they don't keep us awake.



Our dogs don't bark much. Mostly only if someone rings the doorbell or tries to deliver a package. However....



We can't be all, "Our dogs are better than your dogs" because Sammy....Sammy Sammy Sammy. Sammy likes to go up to the fence and taunt the neighbors dogs. They go crazy all five of them barking like an axe wielding maniac has breached the perimeter and plans to turn the whole family in to kindling while Sammy stands there remaining quiet the whole time with a big ole doggy grin on her face.



I've always said Sammy it pretty much the stupidest dog in the history of stupid dogs. But I'm beginning to think she's got a sneaky kind of cunning to her.



Bad dog Sammy!

Ford? There's an infinite number of monkeys outside who want to talk to us about this script for 'Hamlet' they've worked out-Douglas Adams

Speach to the kitty



Me: No Vladi. No Cheetos for you. You only get Cheetos if you have opposable thumbs. If you were a monkey you could have Cheetos. It would be sweet to have a pet monkey to share my Cheetos with.

Bed is the poor man's opera-Italian Proverb

Why yes I do know you just washed the comforter and the pillow sham, no I don't care.

And then here's Gambit the next morning laying IN the bed. Luckily for everyone concerned it's Dave's side of the bed so I don't care.

And then we got a new bed frame and it's higher than the old one so Gambit can't jump up there any more and I laughed an evil laugh like this Mwahahahahahahahahahah because I never wanted him up there in the first place. Yay!

Why is the King of Hearts the only one that hasn't a moustache?-James Branch Cabell

Leeann gave me an awesome/evil idea a couple days ago. Sorry I had to use the flash but black cat/black moustache=hard to photograph. I tried to get one of him wearing both the moustache and the mini sombrero I bought him in Mexico but he was having none of that and I like having all ten fingers.

A clean house is the sign of a boring person.-Author Unknown

Guess what this is?

a) Some sort of as seen on tv doohickey for making julienne potatoes.

b) Something personal I should really be hiding in the back of the bedroom closet and not posting pictures of on the Internet.

c) A vacuum cleaner attachment for vacuuming your pets.

Give up? I really hope you didn't pick b 'cause eeeeeew. The answer is c.

And as we all know there's nothing pets like better than the vacuum cleaner.

There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.-Erma Bombeck

A few things

#1 the post from yesterday was supposed to publish this morning. Either I or Blogger screwed up. Ooops. Oh well bonus for you.

#2 I got a comment asking if it was okay to quote me if they put a back link. Unfortunately there was no way for me to contact the questioner but yes that's fine. I'm obviously a fan of quotes so as long as you give me credit I'd be honored.

#3 I know two anti-Christmas songs so if you are the bah humbug type feel free to come on over to my house and request them. I'll serve you gingerbread and eggnog by the fire (where we store a warm kitty for cuddling).

The color of springtime is in the flowers, the color of winter is in the imagination.-Terri Guillemets

Conversation in front of the fire Saturday night.



Me: You have cat food breath but you're warm and cuddly and I love you.



Vladi: I like sitting in your lap getting pets and I love you too.*





*Okay fine what he actually said was "Purrrrrr" but I translated.

Look, I'm not an intellectual - I just take pictures.-Helmut Newton

I got a new phone. I kinda had to, the old one had no battery life left and we don't have a land line right now. The new one does all kinds of fancy schmancy things that I'll probably get bored with in a week and just use it like a phone. However until then I'm having fun playing with the retro camera app. These were taken with the pinhole camera setting. Cool hu?

If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.-Mark Twain

I went to brush my teeth and found Fiona sitting on the edge of the tub hugging Vladi around the neck. He seemed okay with it and was actually purring. I'm quite proud of how patient he is with her.

Me: I'm amazed that cat's never scratched you.

Fiona: Like Nolady

Me: Nolady?

Fiona: Yeah, Nolady bit me.

Me: Who's Nolady?

Fiona: Grandmas kitty.

Me: Oooooh.

My Mom also has a black cat who's named Shelby but it would appear that Fiona thinks her name is Not Vladi.

The best time for planning a book is while you're doing the dishes.-Agatha Christie

Okay for you pet owners I came across the best quote. Waaaay to long for a tittle but had to share.

"My priority right now is keeping the house clean and it's hard. Actually keeping on top of it instead of being consistently behind is a challenge. I'd have to wash the dogs at the door to really keep on top of it or send them out in those suits crime scene people wear on tv shows. Which would be kind of awesome and adorable"

Come on does that not describe the act of trying to keep your house clean while owning pets perfectly?

Found at Does this font make me look fat?

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.-Winston Churchill

I walked in to our room to find one of the dogs asleep on my pillow, turned the corner and the cat was asleep on the towel I use to dry my hair.

Now you know how I stay so spring time fresh.

Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.-Colette

Vladi is not an under the covers cat. I accept this about him, just as I accept that he does NOT like belly rubs. The exception...when I change the sheets. He jumps up and gets under each and every layer, first the fitted sheet, then the flat sheet, then the blanket (in cold weather),then the comforter. I've been tempted to just leave him under the first layer and keep going but I'm afraid that might end badly, and a puddle of cat pee or a dead cat would be even more annoying.


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The blood is the life.-Dracula Bram Stoker

I didn't know my cat had a car.


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