One way to make sure crime doesn't pay would be to let the government run it.-Ronald Reagan

Did I ever tell you the story of the time I was questioned by the FBI?

No?

Sweet!

So back when I worked on a military base (not naming the company or even the specific job but if you dig through old posts you can probably figure it out) we had some product disappear. Now one this was a large theft worth tens of thousands of dollars and two being on a military base everything is Federal.

There were actually two separate thefts which helped us narrow down the suspects. There were three people who had been around for both; the person running the closing shift, the employee working the closing shift, and the person opening the next day who discovered both thefts...me.

Now I knew I hadn't done it and I don't think the management ever seriously considered me a suspect but the MP's and the FBI had to do their jobs and question all the suspects.

I was asked to come to the Base Police headquarters to meet with the FBI agent in charge of the case for questioning. Let that sink in for a moment...

Like I said I hadn't done it, in fact I was the person who realised something was wrong but still I was just a leetle bit nervous.

When I arrived I expected to be taken to a scary little room with a two way mirror but either they didn't have those or they didn't really suspect me because the room I went to looked more like a meeting room in any office with a big table and seating for six or eight.

When I get nervous I tend to get a little giddy and make random jokes (as opposed to normal when I sarcastically make random jokes on purpose). So when the FBI agent introduced himself and flashed his credentials I started giggling and said, "Just like on tv!"

He'd been all serious up to that moment and I had a second to wish my mouth had consulted my brain before it just blurted things out but then he cracked a smile and responded in his own giddy voice, "I know! I'm actually pretty new and that's the first time I got to do that."

After that I wasn't nervous and the interview got less interesting (story wise).

We did eventually figure out who'd done it but I guess you'll just have to take my word for it that I was innocent.