Monday, January 28, 2013

I'm not a psychopath, Anderson, I'm a high-functioning sociopath. Do your research!-Sherlock

Fiona stepped on one of her own toys strewn about the living room.

Fiona: Ow ochie owie ow! (Proceeds to fake limp over to me to demand comfort)

Me: (Not impressed by her acting 'cause I know all about theatre and junk) You're fine.

Fiona: No look right there (points at perfectly normal looking toe)

Me: Oh no! This is bad. I'm sorry but we're going to have to amputate. Dave get a knife.

Fiona: No don't cut it!

Me: Oh no? Is it better?

Fiona: Yep.

Mother of the year right here baby.

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