Some Art For My Kitchen

About a year ago I started the process of painting my kitchen. So far I did a fairly bad job on the cabinets and they still look better than they did when I started. I really am going to get the walls done this summer...really I am honest.

So assuming I didn't just lie to the whole Internet I will eventually need something to hang on the walls. I saw some cool arty black and white photos of kitchen items that probably cost far more than I'd pay even if it wasn't just for my kitchen. So I thought why don't I try taking a few of my own. There are about 15 of them so I'll have to choose my favorites to frame. Here are a few for your enjoyment... or derision (you have every right to hate them). What do you think?




Ha ha ha. I just realised if you click on that last one of the serving set you can see my reflection in the spoon. That's probably not good photography but it gives me a happy.

See This IS What the Cat was Thinking

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

I Want This V Chip Outta Me, It Has Stunted My Vocabulary

Fiona is talking up a storm and repeating half of what we say. This means the time has come to buckle down and clean up my language. My internal sensor seems to be functioning pretty well, stopping me before I say anything she shouldn't hear.



The problem I'm coming across is this, there are times when you need an expletive. For example you drop something heavy on your foot "Oh Darn" just isn't as satisfying. I've been using "Krudlump" and "Sucks Cheese" when I'm at work or other non swearing arenas for years. I've tried out "Good Grief" but that makes me feel like Charlie Brown and I can sometimes substitute "Freaking" for the more famous F word but it's not the same.



Does any one have any good suggestions for satisfying non four letter expletives?

Advice for the Creepy Guy Who Tried to Flag Me Down at the Train Station

Dear Creepy Guy,

I sincerely hope you weren't approaching my car because you had some kind of emergency. Also I'm very sorry if all you wanted was directions, although I'm a lousy person to ask if that was the case.

Here's the thing Creepy, a woman alone in a car is not going to stop for you. I assume at best you want to ask for money at worst you plan to kill me and dismember me for your latter consumption. Possibly somewhere in the middle is just robbing me but that doesn't appeal to me either.

My advise to you is abandon your life of crime. If however your intentions were harmless my advise is don't bother approaching lone women you will not get the response you are looking for.

Life Changing but Pointless

I used to work in a music store. It was a really huge store and we had a ton of music. There were plenty of bands I'd never heard of and no one ever asked for in the three years I was there. One of these actually made an impression on me.



At one point while cleaning up one of the racks I came across a CD that had this awesome picture as it's cover.

The band was called Overwhelming Colorfast and the album was Two Words. I've still never heard it but I loved the picture so much that from then on I looked for it every time I was working in that section.

.

The Folsom Zoo

Do you know it took me all day to get these stupid pictures to load?

Any way it was a busy weekend. Friday we went out to pizza with Dave's parents and one of his brothers and his wife. Saturday we did chores all say. Sunday we went to the Folsom Zoo with Dave's mom his brother and his wife.

The zoo is pretty cool. It's very small but pretty much all the animals were rescued either after being injured in the wild or being kept places they should not have been (honestly who gets a pet tiger?). The very first cage was a little odd though because it was feral cats. Domestic cats sleeping on cat trees.....yeah that's what I go to the zoo for. The Mountain Lions though were impressive and a little scary.

My Brother in law took a family portrait of us. Fabulous isn't it.
Then we rode the train. Johnny Cash would be disappointed because as far as I know these are the only train tracks any ware near Folsom prison and there was no dining car.

From left to right: Fiona, Dave, Me, MIL, SIL (AK), & BIL (P)

And we just got home from a bbq at the home of Dave's other brother (the twin) and his wife (B&J). We are tired and Fiona is stinky.

On Wed Dave's little sister (AB) gets here for a few days. So much family such little time.

This One Was My Fault

A couple weekends ago we watched a movie where there was a scene in which one character was making fun of another character for shopping for adult toys on Amazon. I said,"Pfft! They don't sell those on Amazon!" But of coarse the next time I was on the computer I had to check. Turns out yes they do sell those on Amazon. Unfortunately I can now never pull up Amazon at work again because they recommend things I could get fired for looking at.

Something I Didn't Expect to Ever Say

No standing up in the bathtub Fiona. If you don't stay sitting down I'm not going to LET you brush your teeth.

A Day Off

I don't have to go to work today do da do da
I get to stay at home with my daughter Oh the do da day


I've been working my butt off at work. It's a good thing, I'd rather be busy than bored. But I'm happy to have a day to relax. Not that Fiona isn't work but she gives me hugs and kisses and no one at work does (which would be weird any way).

Shakin My Money Maker

Does anyone else do a little naked dance while waiting for the watter to heat up in the shower?

Unnecessary Multi Tasking

It's great that you brush your teeth after lunch. Kudos to you for good personal hygiene. However brushing your teeth while you make a phone call on your hands free headset is probably more time saving than needed. I won't speak for the person on the other end but if it was me I'd appreciate it if you wait until you've finished one task before beginning the other.

Thin Line Between Insanity and Genius

It occurred to me today that most of the funniest people I know (in person and on line) have all been medicated for anxiety and/or depression. Just an observation*.







* I've been on Effexor myself so there is no judgment attached to this observation.

Shhh Don't Tell Dave

This one's for my SIL (AB) She'll know why.



I dreamed we were living in a new house. We hadn't just moved in but it didn't feel like home yet either. Unfortunately it was haunted. Normally this would be kind of cool but this ghost wouldn't let me use the bathroom. Every time I tried to use the toilet it would turn on the taps and squirt me with watter and if I tried to shower it would open the shower curtain and throw toiletries at me. Also for some reason it was fascinated by Fiona. Finally I got pissed and clutched Fiona to me and screamed, "Stay the F*#k away from my baby!". Of coarse it was about now that I realised I was actually in a restaurant and had screamed at my friends. They apparently felt this was rude although I thought they should be more understanding. We all went our separate ways but I was still irritated until Robert Pattinson showed up and took me on a date. That cheered me up.

Just Like Her Mama

Conversation during dinner

Me: (to Dave) I love how no matter what she's got she wants your food. She's such a cat. (to Fiona) you're a cat baby girl, a cat!

Fiona: Meow!

Me: That's my girl.

Clearly This is Important

I.M. conversation about a month ago.

Me: Does the 13th of May mean anything to you?

Dave: No should it?

Me: I don't know, on my calendar I wrote in 1 year but I have no idea what's it's been 1 year since.

Dave: Hmmm

Me: (thinking) It's not our anniversary, I've been at that job more than a year, Fiona's birthday is in December, did any of my friends have a baby in May?

About an hour latter

Me: Never mind. I'm a dork.

Dave: What was it?

Me: One year since I started my blog. I don't know why I wrote that down.

So happy birthday to Day2Day Madness. It's been a fun year.

Books I Can Read Over and Over Again (and Probably Have)

Gone with the Wind-Margaret Mitchell

Watership Down-Richard Adams (I know this one comes up a lot sorry)

Alice in Wonderland-Lewis Caroll

Bussmans Honeymoon-Dorothy L. Sayers

Partners in Crime-Agatha Christie

The Hobbit-J.R.R. Tolkein

The Talisman-Stephen King and Peter Straub

Hitchickers Guide to the Galaxy-Douglas Adams

Mental Self Preservation

While having a conversation with another Mom I realized there was a reason most people don't remember a time before they were potty trained. It would be to embarrassing to recall how much your Mom talked about your poo.

I Bet Many People Make That Mistake

Accidentally inappropriate I.M. conversation at work



Me: Are you ready for lunch?

Dave: Gimme a sex

Dave: oops sec

Me: ROTFL

Happy Mothers Day

For my Mom and grandma, for working moms and ones who stay home, for new moms and moms to be, for the ones who will be someday and those with grown children happy mothers day.

This last one was taken by Dave.

Sweet Sammy

I love my Mom

I love my Dad

I love the baby that they had



I love Gambit

I love the cat

I love the treats that make me fat



I love Grandma

I love the sun

I love pretty much everyone



But if you think of coming in

And doing harm to those within

I'll snarl and howl and bark and bark

Until you run off in the dark


Okay 1 Gambit should get some of the credit for scaring off our would be burglars and 2 I realise Vladi and Sammy are getting more entries than poor ole Gambit but he's got all this dignity. Sammy eats rocks, Gambit stands in front of the fire place and looks like a a hunting print. And yes 3 my poetry is terrible but it amuses me.

Clutzy Confession

When I was a little girl I took dance lessons. Tap, Jazz, Ballet & Hula (and at one time there was some belly dancing but that's another story). I loved dancing and would dance around the house rather than walk. I stopped taking dance lessons when I was eleven. I still leap around the house some of the time not caring how odd it must seem.

One night I was in the kitchen making spaghetti sauce. I had the news on in the living room. While the sauce was simmering I sashayed in to the living room to check in on the news then turned to kitchen door and executed a lovely stag leap to land precisely in front of the stove and came down all wrong screaming in pain.

When most people asked me why my leg was all wrapped up I told them, "I sprained my ankle making spaghetti"



To Dave however I said, "You know how I leap around the house like an idiot?"

He replied, "Yes."

It Was NOT a Piece of Hair or Fuzz

As we were driving to work chatting I saw a little tinny blur out of the corner of my eye. I though it was a piece of hair or fuzz caught in the hinge of my glasses so I took them off to remove it. Guess what it was? Go ahead guess. Take you're time I'll wait.

Insert Jeopardy theme here. do do do do, do do dooooo

Give up? Want me to tell you? Scroll down.




It was a spider! A freaking spider! Hanging off my glasses, next to my face! I hate spiders! Do you think I'm on a spider hit list for all the anti spider propaganda I've published?

Stupid Things That Keep Me Awake at Night

The plot problems that made me stop watching Alias.

What are the statistics on Hippo Attacks?

Things I need to pack for a trip we're taking in October.

Why are my knees touching? I don't want my knees to touch.


The plot of the book I'm reading.

Grocery Lists

That one scene in Eclipse that pisses me off. (I've actually lost multiple nights of sleep over this)

Strategy for playing Roller coaster Tycoon.

Remembering embarrassing things I said or did years ago.

Clever things I should have said in conversations past.





What keeps you awake at night aside from the normal things?

Wrong on Many Levels

Once when we were dating we along with some friends including Dave's twin brother (B) were going to a bar. The doorman looks at B's drivers licence then mine then Dave's and rather than comment on the fact that they have the same birth date and last name (which was sometimes an issue with doormen) he asks Dave," She you're sister?". We thought this was gross and creepy. The odd thing was this happened a few times and I just have to wonder what the heck type of body language we were putting out there.

Kitty P.I.

When the alarm went off I was having a dream about a cat detective. All film noir like but feline.

It's really to bad I can't draw because that would make a great comic book don't you think?



Note: I'm having some technical difficulties with scheduling posts. Sorry for any confusion. I think I've got it fixed now.

A Great Big Hug to Costco

About three years ago we bought a big ol' TV from Costco. About 9 months ago it broke. It was under warranty and apparently this was a problem being reported on hundreds of this model TV so they fixed it. It took about a month for the guy to get the part and install it and then it took us another week to get someone to help us put the TV back up on the wall because it's to heavy for Dave & I.

Thing were going along happily until about two weeks ago Dave and I were watching the TV after Fiona went to bed when POP the same part broke. We called Costco they said we needed to contact the manufacturer. They tried to say well it's a three year old TV. We said it's a lemon and you might want to curb the attitude as there's a lot of buzz on the Internet about a class action suit. They said they'd fix it. We thought about it and did a little research.

When we bought the TV Costco had a life time return policy. Many people abused this so they had to change their policy but since that was in effect at the time we should be covered. Dave called Costco customer service they were actually very nice and said that it would be up to the manager at the Costco in question but we should be able to return the TV.

The manager at Costco let us return it. The price has come down so we got a different TV for about half what we originally paid and now have an insane store credit at Costco (we no longer have the card we used to purchase it originally).

This story is not funny or even that interesting but I mention it because you hear lots of stories of companies really screwing their customers, or stories of rude/just plain bad customer service. This was great service and I think Costco deserves a little credit. Thank you Costco for using common sense and courtesy.

Darwin Would Be Mad

If I was the heroine in an apocalypse movie the human species would die out.

#1. I'm not repopulating the earth with just any old guy who survived like a cockroach.

#2. No way I'm going back to the bad old days of child birth when women died all the time and there was no such thing as an epidural.

Instead I'd try to breed smart animals like Dolphins, Elephants, and pigs in hopes that one of them would become the dominant species. I'm rooting for the Elephants. I don't know why.