Grandpa's Home

There are still a few issues but he's home from the hospital. Thank you for you're good wishes.

Worrisome

My Grandpa's in the hospital. They are still trying to figure out what's wrong. This is not a good thing. What's extra troubling is my Grandma is not able to take care of herself. My Dad's with her for the moment. I'm not sure what's going to happen or whether they will need my help in any way. I may not post for a bit if I'm not near a computer. I'm sure everything will be okay in the end but rite now everything is up in the air.

Progress on Sunday

Me: Say Mama

Fiona: Btttttbt

Me: (slowly) Mama mama mama

Fiona watching my mouth and forming the shapes along with me but not making any noise

Me: Yeah that's it. Mama

Fiona: (intense look of concentration) AaaahMmmmMmmm

Me: Close

Speaking of Yucky

This commercial is disgusting. I'm not easily offended (I'm easily pissed off there's a difference) but this seriously bothers me. I don't get how this #1 go approved to be made and #2 was approved to be aired. It makes me want to never buy their product.

Kittens!

When I was in Jr. High one of our cats had kittens. I know, I know we should have gotten her fixed and we did after this but we still needed to find homes for the kittens now that they were here. A friend of my parents said she's adopt one when they were old enough. She already had one cat named Ichabod who they called Icky for short. We called the kitten she'd picked I.J. for Icky junior which we thought was extremely cleaver as the local paper was known as the I.J.(actually the Marin Independent Journal but everyone just called it the IJ). Finally the day came that the kitten could go to his new home do ya know what they named him? Yucky. Icky and Yucky very clever.

The Church of the Dead Girls by Stephen Dobyns

I just finished reading this for the second time. This is an extremely well written book. As you can guess from the title it's not a happy story so it may not be for everyone. It's the story of the reactions of the citizens of a small town to the disappearance of a child. When the first girl disappears they all hope the criminal is an outsider but when a second girl goes missing they are forced to admit that it must be someone they see everyday. You'll enjoy this if you like mysteries or thrillers.

Appliance Recycling

I didn't know this until yesterday. When you replace your refrigerator or freezer PG&E will come take away the old one away FOR FREE and give you a check for $35. I think they also do this for air conditioners. Not that we call all afford to replace our appliances but if your going to do it any way save yourself the haul away fee and make a couple extra bucks in the bargain.

www.appliancerecycling.com

It Was A Nice Weekend

So I had to update my profile. It's subtle do you see it? Yep I'm now officially a year older boo! Nah it's not that bad. I don't mind getting older I just wish I didn't look my age. It was sweet looking 18 when I was 14 not such a good thing now.

Friday a friend took me out to lunch (Hi Jubiss!) which was nice.

Saturday I woke up with my wrist all messed up so I gave it the day off on my kitchen project. My sister in law came over and baby sat while Dave took me out to a movie. We saw Wall-E and it was very cute. I was inordinately proud of myself for recognizing Michael Crawford's voice in the first 3 seconds of the film (there's a whole story about my thing with Phantom but I'll tell it another time). Then we went home and Dave grilled steaks and asparagus and we had a nice bottle of Tepranillo (sp?).

Sunday which was my actually birthday I finished the priming so now I just have to paint. Dave got me a pretty pearl an onyx necklace which I'm wearing rite now. I also got some money from my parents and grandparents with instructions to buy myself some makeup and clothes (twist my arm).My parents came over and took me to Sears to pick out a new refrigerator as an anniversary gift from my grandparents and them. Our anniversary isn't actually until next month but they were having a sale. They are supposed to deliver it today. I'm very excited I've wanted a new fridge for a couple years but it just wasn't in the budget.

Hopefully I'll finish painting the cabinets and be able to start putting the doors back up next weekend then as soon as I paint to walls (much smaller project than the cupboards) I'll be able to post some before and after pics which will now include a shinny new refrigerator yay!

The Things That Go Through My Mind

Where does Batman get all his cool gadgets? I seriously doubt he built the Batmobile himself. I mean I know Bruce Wayne is all super rich and can get anything he wants custom made so does this means there are employees at car companies and electronic factories who really should start putting two and two together?

Strange But True

When I was in college I took a radio station class which was a lot of fun. At one point my teacher asked some of the students, myself included, to record a script he gave us. It was just a list of statements most of which were totally innocuous like, "I enjoy listening to music" although I recall that, "I like Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carrol" seemed hilarious to me for some reason. The reason he'd asked specific students to do this was we had voices that were stereotypical of certain groups; black, white, male, female, etc. They spliced the recordings together and used them as part of the battery of psychological testing applicants needed to pass in order to get jobs as police or firefighters in Sonoma county. I never found out exactly how the recording was used in the testing process but I still find it funny that somehow my voice was supposed to help measure someones sanity. Clearly they don't know me very well.

Kodak Moments

We've all heard the term Kodak moment meaning this would be a good moment to capture on film. You always say it when your taking pictures like this.



Really that's not a very interesting picture. We were at a company Christmas party mostly pretty bored because the band was terrible, we'd just had a mediocre meal, and they were only serving 2 drinks to each guest. That's not a memory that needed to be captured. Really it's pictures like this.



They make you laugh or cry or generally remember how you were feeling when they were taken. By the way that's me. I don't know why I have wiskers drawn on my face but I know my Mom will giggle when she sees that picture again.

Actually it was a moment with my Mom that made me realize that when you have a real Kodak moment you don't always want a picture of it. We were in her old pickup truck driving home from the store laughing and singing along with the stereo splitting a box of doughnuts. It's a good memory but not a flattering image.

Phrase of the Day

U.P.B.-Unidentified Party Bruise: Bruise or injury you discover but do not recall how it got there so you assume you were drunk when it happened.

Okay I totally stole that from a lady I used to work with but it's such a great term I wanted to share.

Ya Might Wanna Check Your Math

There's a radio commercial I hear all the time for a product called I.Q. Part of the commercial states "Read up to 100 times faster. Just immagine reading 10 books in the time it takes others to read 1". I'm pretty sure 100 X 1 does not equal 10. Check me out I don't even need their product.

People I Miss Volume 1

I was in first grade when I met Sarah. She joined our class after the school year had already started although I don't think it had been more than a couple weeks. At the school I attended new students were assigned a "buddy" to show them the ropes, where the bathrooms were, and what side of the playground was off limit to younger students, etc. As there was an empty desk next to me my teacher sat Sarah there and asked me to be her buddy.

Sarah and I soon became good friends, spending recess together, eating together at lunch, playing together after school. This was remarkable because Sarah who was Korean didn't speak any English. Kids learn quickly so she was speaking fluent English by the end of the year and I must have picked up some Korean although I don't remember any of it now, which is to bad.

I remember Sarah as always being calm and polite, smiling serenely. All her movements were very smooth and deliberate which gave her the appearance of grace although she must have had just as many awkward moments as any other child.

Sarah taught me to draw. I'm a perfectionist and I have a very hard time trying new things as I'm not likely to be good at them rite away. I'm still not much of an artist but Sarah's kind comments taught me to enjoy the act of drawing rather than concentrating on the result.

When we were in fifth grade Sarah's family moved to LA and I never saw or heard from her again. I've wondered off and on over the years where she is and how she's doing. I've tried a couple times to find her on line but her name may very well have changed and it wasn't that uncommon to begin with. I imagine it would probably be a disappointment to find her again and discover that she's just another person. This way I can continue to remember her through the eyes of a child with affection.

Gambit

This is Gambit. He's a Golden Retriever mix. We adopted him from Homeward Bound Golden Retriever Rescue when he was about a year old. He is incredibly smart and just sweet as can be. He had a couple weird habits when we got him which made me wonder what had happened to him before he got to us. Eventually I got his records from the rescue people and I was appalled. He'd been surrendered to the pound because he was to high energy and there was a note on his medical records from his vets office that said "If it doesn't hurt he won't learn". Luckily the rescue people came and got him out of the pound and fostered him until he found a home with us. We've had him for almost 8 years now and he's gotten over most of his skittish behaviors but I do want to say 2 things about his past.

#1 research BEFORE you adopt a pet. Puppies are high energy and so are Golden Retrievers if that's not what you want you should get a 6 year old Basset Hound or something. (BTW I did research the bunnies before I adopted them but every thing I read was wrong, however I'm still gonna take care of them because I'm responsible that way)

#2 yes discipline is necessary when you're raising a pet however inflicting pain is not. Do you need to beat your children to teach them? No? Then you don't need to traumatize a dog either.

Homeward bound is a great cause. If you can donate money, toys, food, or time they could really use it. There are also other wonderful rescue groups out there for other breeds and types of animals.

2 Things

#1 I like Milky Way but it didn't need more carmel. The additional carmel upsets the delicate flavor balance of the bar.

#2 I get brushing your teeth at work. Good oral hygiene is a must. However brushing your teeth while you walk down the hall is going a bit far.

Irony

A friend just sent me this link joking that we should try blogging for money.

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/07/21/BU3011SL0E.DTL

While it would be sweet to quit my day job and stay home with Fiona I don't expect this to ever turn in to a money making enterprise. I'm just happy to have a venue in which I can express myself. I love my daughter but being her Mommy doesn't define me. I'm Dani and these are the things I think about.

There's No Place Like Home

I love California. I've lived here my whole life and it's my home. I love the weather (although today it's cold and I'm wearing a sweater. WTF it's July!) I love the wineries, I love the food, my whole family lives here, a good portion of Dave's family lives here, and all our friends live here. All that being said it's time to consider leaving.

There are plenty of jobs in the bay area but unless you want to sell your first born child or a kidney , both of which are illegal, you can't live in the same area as you work. So we all have to commute which is frustrating and time consuming even before you figure in the price of gas. Dave and I are lucky in the fact that we work in the same office so we only have to use one car but we pay around $300-$350 a month in gas.

As of last month the median home price in the bay area was $485,000 according to this site. $485,000? And that's with the market bottoming out. This morning as we left for work we could see a for sale sign on our neighbors lawn indicating that the house had been foreclosed on and that's not the first one we've seen in the neighborhood. Housing sales for our county are down 32.4% from last year. The sales for the whole bay area are down 41.1%.

I don't want to send my daughter to school here. According to Morgan Quinto.com as of 2007 CA ranked 47th out of 50 for public schools. I'd prefer if her grammar didn't actually get worse once she enters school (this actually happened to a neighbors child).

The crime rates in CA are not good but they are actually climbing in the Bay Area faster than in other areas including LA which has actually been seeing a decrease (good for them). There are lots of sites with statistics but here's one article I particularly found interesting. LA times
I was not surprised to find that Oakland and Richmond were not faring well but Novato as well is seeing an increase in violent crime. I grew up in Novato and my parents still live there. As a matter of fact my daughters at Grandmas house today.

Our neighborhood is mostly middle class families with a few retired people sprinkled in. There's an elementary school about 2 blocks from our house and a park where I take my daughter. In the last year someone has thrown a boulder through our front window, smashed a neighbors windshield, sprayed graffiti on our fence and a neighbors truck (two separate incidents), a parolee who was stabbed wandered around the neighborhood until the someone called the police, and there was a party that apparently went bad resulting in what looked and sounded like a riot but the police report called it a "fight" later that night there was a shooting on a neighboring street. The police stated that the "fight" and shooting were unrelated which doesn't make me feel better at all. In other words our neighborhood is going down hill.

Take notice California. I have lived here for 33 years and I have loved you well but I can't stay if things continue to go this way. I need to raise my children where they will be safe and get a good education. If we can live comfortably else ware when were living had to mouth here there is no incentive for us to stay. This is an unhealthy relationship. You are no longer good for me so I need to leave you. Perhaps in the fullness of time when we've both grown and matured we can be friends again but for now I'm moving on. Well as soon as we can actually sell our house in this crappy market.

Open Letter to The Person Who Implied I Shouldn't Have a Baby If I Can't Stay Home

While I was pregnant I spent quite a bit of time on Babycenter. On occasion when someone posted a question and I thought I had a useful answer I'd post it. One lady asked when she should return to work after her child was born. I posted a response that she should consult her Dr. and her HR department when making that decision. By accident today I found that someone had apparently taken exception to my response stating that I (by name) was being a bad mother because I was not considering the baby and if I could not stay home I shouldn't have gotten pregnant. To that I say, " Bitch, thems fightin' words"

As she posted anonymously (coward) I can't respond to her personally so I'm responding here.

Dear Anonymous,

I'm sorry you took exception to my advise. It was not my intention to suggest the questioner not consider her child. In fact I was assuming she already knew what her own inclination was and didn't need me to tell her. My intention was to suggest that in order to make the most informed decision she make sure she has the most complete information regarding her rights and what will be covered.

As for your personal attack on me. You don't know me. Do you honestly think that after reading 3 sentences you have enough information to pass judgement on anyone? I do not need to defend my decision to you.

If only women who were in a position to stay home after having their children were having babies we as a species would be in danger. The majority of mothers out there work, whether this is because they need to or because they want to it does not make them bad mothers who do not love and value their children.

I am a damn good mother. I spend every moment I can with my daughter. I ensure she has everything she needs to be happy and thrive even if this means going without things for myself. She is beautiful, smart, and healthy in my opinion the perfect baby.

In conclusion I rejoice that very few people these days are as narrow minded, and old fashioned, as you appear to be. However as I only had a few sentences from which to judge I will hope that you are in actuality not as hate filled as you seem.

Sincerely
Dani

P.S. If you ever attack my parenting skills again the gloves are coming off.

Suave Hair Spray

I ran out of the Bumble and Bumble hairspray I've been using for the pat year. It's expensive and I either have to go to a salon or order it off the Internet so I thought I'd try a different brand. I bought a bottle of Suave super hold about a month ago. Last week I noticed that I have a whole bunch of tiny short hairs under my bangs, today I noticed there are a bunch of short hairs (maybe an inch long) sticking up from my head. It appears the Suave hairspray is causing my hair to break off near the root. I haven't changed anything other than hairspray so if it isn't that I have a health issue. I'll have to see if I can find any sort of hair repair serum that will heal the damaged hairs that haven't broken off yet and of coarse I'll need another hairspray. I hardly use hair products so I didn't think I needed an expensive product but I'm now seeing cheap isn't the way to go either. I recommend staying away from this particular product.

If anyone has any suggestions for either a different spray to try or a hair repair product I'd love to hear them.

Liquor Glasses

These were an engagement party gift. I really like the sleek shape and the bold colors. Unfortunately I don't currently have a place to display them properly.

Good Advice

A couple years ago one of my friends was selling Tupperware. One evening she and I were going somewhere together but she had to go to a regional Tupperware meeting first so I went along with her as it was on our way. I like Tupperware, it's a good product. I have several pieces I bought from my friend and I'm particularly fond of the marinater but the level of enthusiasm these women showed was a little scary. People were screaming and clapping it was like being an audience member on the Price is Right. There were gasps and shrieks of joy when a new product was introduced. I would have laughed but I was a little scarred that these women would burn me at the stake. My friend glanced over at the look on my face and said, "Don't drink the Kool-aid". I blinked and looked at her confused as to weather I was supposed to laugh and then she gave me a huge evil grin. Man those women LOVED Tupperware.

I Have a Theory

Girls grow up enjoying dancing because they remember dancing with their Daddy's. That's why you do the father daughter dance at weddings. I remember dancing to the Who with my Dad when I was about six.

Fiona's having the best time dancing with Dave. On the other hand the air guitar he's teaching her will be more embarrassing at her wedding.

My Other Home

This is where I live 40 hours a week.



TGIF. I hope you all have a great weekend. I'm going to continue my kitchen project. Once I'm done I'll post before and after pics.

Such a Good Idea

If you're a parent or grand parent or aunt or uncle or know any one who is send this link to them.

http://safetytat.com/story/

They're temporary tattoos with you phone # on them in case you get separated from your child in public. My daughters not moving around on her own yet but I recall getting separated from my Mom when I was little and it was scary.

Reason Why I'm Not Much of a Swimmer

One evening I was in the pool at my parents house splashing around having a good old time. The sun was going down which caused the bottom of the pool to be in shadow. As I paddled around it occurred to me that I couldn't see what was in the deep end. My imagination leaped at this opportunity to whisper "what if there's a shark in there?". Logic tried to assert it's dominance by assuring me that sharks don't live in pools, even if there was a shark I would have seen it before it started to get dark, and it would have to be a relatively small shark. Unfortunately logic has no power over irrational fear. I was 100% sure that there was a huge shark in the pool and it wanted nothing more than to eat me. I madly floundered my way back to the shallow end, clambered out of the pool as fast as I could, and turned around panting to look for the shark I knew was there. Of coarse there was no shark logic said "I told you so" but I didn't feel like swimming any more. BTW I was 25. I am such a dork.

Intervention

Hi, My names Dani and I'm an addict

http://www.freefrogger.org/

Best Fashion Statement Ever

If I rode a motorcycle I'd buy a wig and glue it to the outside of my helmet. So it would just look like someone with a really big head. I'm scared of motorcycles so I'll never do it. It would be cool if someone did though.

Heard on the Radio This Morning

Cliche's and cutseyisims

Ooooooo what's a cutseyisim and how can I start working it in to my daily vocabulary?

Temptation

IMG_6802
Originally uploaded by DaniKenny

This is a disturbing suggestion to recieve at work.

Priorities

Several years ago there was a pretty big fire near our neighborhood. If you went out to our front yard you could see it burning on a hill directly down our street. It was both fascinating and scary watching the fire fighters efforts to get it under control. After a couple hours as the neighborhood was getting pretty smokey and we were hearing reports that some houses were threatened I began to get a little nervous that we might need to evacuate. Dave said nah it was miles away. I'm not a good judge of distance but I know fires can move quickly when they get going so it seemed like a good idea to be prepared. We'd already locked both dogs and the cat inside because of the smoke so I made sure I knew where the leashes and the cat carrier were, I rounded up the photo albums so they were in one place, and I packed a suitcase.

They got the fire under control, no houses got burned, and we didn't need to evacuate. In hind site I'm extra glad we didn't because do you know what I packed in that suitcase? 1 change of clothes, my makeup, my good jewelry, and 10 of my favorite pairs of shoes. I only had one pair of underwear but my feet were gonna be stylin.

Do I Ever Learn?

Me: Fiona say Mama

Fiona: (blank stare)

Me: Mamamamamama

Fiona: (look of understanding, deep breath at the top of her lungs) DAAAAAAADAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Sob sob sniffle

Dave: What did you do to your Mama?

IM Can be Hillarious

Dave and I were IMing about some juvenile crap some of our friends are pulling on each other. If you can't gossip about and badmouth your friends who can you gossip about and badmouth. Sometimes if you both hit enter at the same time your comments don't really make any sense as per the example below where Dave was changing the subject and I was responding to something else he'd just said.

Dave: Do we need anything fro Costco?

Me: We need some new friends

Part of the Problem not Part of the Solution

While sitting in traffic we saw someone in a Prius throw garbage out their window. Yep you're a real friend to the environment.

100% True Story About the Love of My Life

That last post was not happy. What you didn't pick up on the overwhelming despair? What are you taking and can I have some too? Any way here's a picture of a happy baby.



And the story of the day I bought my Jeep.

I used to drive a Kia Sephia. It was the first model year and a giant pile of shit. It ran well enough but everything else that could break on it did. The glove compartment broke, the gas cap broke, and the trim peeled off. I bought it new and only owned it for 5 years and pretty much only drove around the town I lived in but by the time I got rid of it it looked like it was ready for the junk yard. When the time came to buy a new car I was so excited I could have peed myself.

I had wanted a Jeep Grand Cherokee since before I was old enough to drive. I had my heart set on getting one but I'd never really bought a car by my self before (my Dad helped me get the Kia) so Dave proved that he was a wonderful guy and I should really consider marrying him by coming along, he talked me out of buying one that had a bad rear end (he he he), he convinced me to walk away from one I really liked but could not afford the "deal" they were trying to give me, and he did all the negotiating for the one I finally did buy. It was awe inspiring watching him stand firm saying "she really can't afford more than ____ and if you can't do that we're going to have to go somewhere else". They tried to sway him with counter offers, they tried to appeal to me but I knew better, they tried insisting they weren't making a single cent on the deal but Dave stood firm and eventually the salesman caved and sold me the car of my dreams at a price I could actually afford.

They had declined to take the Kia as a trade in (shocking I know) so Dave was going to drive it home for me while I was going to drive my shinny used (but new to me) Jeep. It was raining so the salesman sat in the passenger side of the car showing me the features, "this is the turn signal, and these are the wipers, and..." and I was thinking I could have probably figured that all out myself and then he started chatting and asking what kind of music I liked. I was so giddy with my new possession that I happily answered with out picking up on the weirdness as he told me about his band that played Prince cover tunes (I'm not making that up) finally he gave me his card which I put in the pocket of my jacket, and tells me to call if I have any questions. I did wonder what kind of questions he thought I might have but figured it was just part of the spiel.

The next day Dave and I drove the Jeep over to our friends house to show off my new possession. As Dave was telling our (male) friend the story of how the salesman had really tried to rip me off I happened to reach in to my jacket pocket. My hand met something and I pulled it out wondering what it was. It was the guy's card and I finally looked at it and started laughing. Dave and our friend both looked at me confused so I handed over the card after looking at it for a minuted they both started laughing too. It was his home phone number! After spending hours trying to screw me over while I was valiantly defended by my boyfriend the asshole had the audacity to hit on me.

Anyway I loved that Jeep. I had it for 6 years and finally had to get something newer because it just had so many miles on it I couldn't afford the upkeep. I sold it to a nice couple who I think were from Australia and bought a Saturn Ion which is only a little nicer than the Kia. I miss my Jeep.

One of Those Days

You know those days when the universe is telling you to call in and stay in bed? I'm having one of those. It's not so clear cut as it sometimes is with all sorts of little things going wrong but I did wake up to an immediate conversation about the state of our bank account. Yay good morning.

I was on anxiety medication before I had Fiona but I stopped taking it when I got pregnant partly because I kept forgetting to fill the prescription (pregnant brain is fun) but mostly because I felt fine. I decided that I'd only needed it because I'd had an extremely stressful job at the time. No really like extremely stressful I'm almost 100% positive that the job was part of the reason I lost the first baby. However since Fiona was born I've had a couple really bad times when I wondered if I should call the Dr. and ask them to put me back on medication. I suspect I might not be the only member of my family who could use (or have used) some therapy and/or medication. I've been putting it off since it garners so much judgement from people and I get enough of that from people when they find out I had a c-section and didn't breast feed (seriously strangers feel it's appropriate to ask questions or make comments about my breasts and what I'm not using them for). There are good reasons for both of those things but they aren't anybodies business but my own. My daughter's healthy so back the F*#k off.

My birthday's coming up which has been depressing me. I don't mind getting older or anything like that it's just that my birthdays over the last 7 years or so have been bad. Not my 29'th birthday Dave proposed then so that one was nice but generally at the end of the day I no longer like anyone in my family and cry myself to sleep. Last year I cried on the way to work too that was fun. Of coarse this year my expectations are so low that maybe I won't feel like a worthless pile of crap by the end of the day that would be nice.

Money stresses me out. Yeah I know money stresses everyone out and we all go through the young an poor stage. I'm almost 33 and have had a job since I was 12. I'm not that young and have spent plenty of time being poor. Can't I just be getting close to middle age and not broke all the time? The reason we are consistently broke is our mortgage there's a long story behind that starting with my grandma going senile and ending with my brother in law falling in love (not with my grandma) neither of which are things they had any control over and I certainly don't blame them but it left us with a house we can't actually afford. So any way were broke and I had almost convinced myself yesterday to get my hair cut but now I'm just going to add that to the list of all the other things I can't afford.

I need a hug....and a Xanax.

Cut and Style

I need a hair cut. The lady that cut my hair last time did a terrible job. I part my hair on the side and she didn't understand why I didn't want her to cut it like I part it in the middle. She cut a chunk of hair that wasn't bangs the same length as my bangs. And when she styled it well I looked like Salt N Pepa circa 1989 which was wrong for many reasons. I had to go home and wash it because she'd used so much product that it was disgusting to touch. I've finally got it grown out enough that I think it can be salvaged but since I'm going to have to find a new stylist I thought I'd better take in a picture so I don't wind up looking like an anachronism again. Why is is that all hairstyle photos look like either a large rodent died on the models head or the stylist used a weed whacker? I mean the flowbee got better results.

Hungry Butt

I've lost most of my baby weight but none of my underwear fit rite. I think my hips are going to remain a little wider than they were before. The unfortunate result is I've got a permawedgie.

I used to work with a lady who was frankly crazy but whenever she had a wedgie she always said "I've got a hungry butt" and that just seems like such an accurate description of the problem.

Tell Me I'm Not Alone Here

Am I the only person who thinks the Old Spice jingle sounds like "They're magically delicious"?

Why Didn't I Have the Camera?

There's this foot bridge that goes over the freeway in Berkeley that we have to drive under every day to get to work. For some reason every jobless wacko in Berkeley thinks this is a prime location to make their stand on whatever issue they think you should stop having your own opinion on and listen to theirs. This is mostly annoying not because of their messages but because it causes traffic. I don't care if your for world peace, or against the war, or giving away free chocolate and back rubs forcing me to sit in more traffic pisses me off. This morning there was a sign up that said "We demand another strip mall". This made me so happy because it's really going to irritate the people of Berkeley and I feel it's their turn.

It Sure Doesn't Sound Like Food

Subway has these new commercials where they refer to their sandwiches as "Yum Rockets". Sounds dirty to me.

String Meat

Yesterday I discovered that cold Cornbeef is just like string cheese only meat.

The Village

These are the paperclip villagers and the volcano they worship. They all live on my desk. I started to write a story about them a while back but then discovered that I prefer no to know the details of their lives.




This is the high priestess




Here are a few more of the villagers who don't live in the immediate vicinity of the volcano

To My Apparently New Readers

I just checked my stats and apparently I had 10 visitors over the weekend. Usually I only get a couple a week so I'm very excited about this surge in interest. Welcome to my new readers whoever you are, make yourselves at home.

I'm thinking of trying out a few new things; more pictures, profiles of people in my life (believe me some of em are hilarious), my feelings about well...commercials (sounds strange I know but I've got some strong feelings). I'd love feedback as I go.

I started this blog for my own pleasure and to reconnect with my self outside my roll of Mommy but there's really no point if no one is reading. So please let me know what you like or don't like and if you think someone else would enjoy something I've said pass on the link. Let's make this blog somewhere we both want to be.

Evil Husband

Me: If I die, even if I'm murdered I don't want one of those terrible tombstones with the cheesy ass photo on it.

Dave: Even the Glamor Shot we took?

Me: Especially the glamor shot!

Dave: (With evil grin) You're fate is sealed.

Me: Fuck!

"Desert Foods Arent Always Rite"

The cookie and the candy wrapper lied. I didn't win....yet.

Baby bunnies

bun 2
Originally uploaded by DaniKenny

These are my evil bunnies. They aren't nearly this cute any more. They're still excruciatingly cute but nothing is as cute as baby bunnies.

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This is Why I Bought Another Loto Ticket

In case you can't read it the fortune says "You are headed in the right direction trust you instincts"

For No Good Reason At All

I like Shakespeare. This pisses people off. I find this both extremely amusing and slightly confusing. I get that most people are only exposed to Shakespeare when it's forced down their throats in school so of coarse they hate it. The part that I don't get is why it bothers them that I'm down with it. Seriously I'm not being pretentious I just enjoy it. When I start quoting it at you then I'm being pretentious. I love theatre and literature and history and the amazing fun that is the English language so it's rite up my alley.

Sometimes fiction (plays, books, movies) create a world that is so close to real that you almost feel like you're there. I don't know if everyone feels that way sometimes but this is one thing I got from my Dad. My Dad is the only man I know who is totally okay with crying at a movie. This is the man who taught me to love Shakespeare.

When the Baz Luhrmann version of Romeo and Juliet (with Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes) came out on video I fell in love with it. Normally that's not one of my favorite plays, to cliche and I like happy endings, but it really was well done. I thought my Dad would like it too so I suggested we watch it one day. We sat in the family room watching it together. The death scene comes and my Dad turns to me red faced with tears streaming down his face blowing his nose and asks accusingly, "Why didn't you warn me?!" Ummmm Dad it's Romeo and Juliet you know how it ends.

It Just Shows What a Small Penis You Have

What is is about the iphone? If you want to own one be my guest, I've got better things to waste my money on like booze and shoes. However if you do buy one keep in mind this does not make you better than anyone, as a matter of fact all of the people who didn't buy one think your a tard.

Maddox says it better than I ever could.

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=iphone

Update: At lunch time we went to baystreet with a friend to buy some baby clothes & there were about a hundred people waiting in line outside the Apple store. Our friend was driving and had to parallel park. She did it beautifully although cautiously and the schmoes waiting in line were laughing and clapping and pointing. Way to prove my point dumbass! By the time we left and hour later the line was easily twice as long and those same asses who'd been so rude still hadn't made it in the store.


Ummmm I'd also like to point out that my ire is not directed at Grace who has an iphone and occasionally reads this. She is always polite and charming and generally lives up to her name. I just have issues with rude people.

It's All Good

BTW

The baby survived the night she did not roll on to her face and smother. I'm sure that's thanks entirely to my paranoid laying there & willing her to live.

The bunnies despite another escape attempt (I could hear them) were still in their hutch this morning. I stacked bricks over the hole they dug. I'm going to Home Depot this weekend & I'll get something more permanent for blocking their escape hatch. Yay me I'm smarter than a bunny! You know you're impressed.

It Needed To Be Done

My purse is out of control so I'm cleaning it out. As there are some kind odd things in there I thought I'd share.

Normal stuff
Wallet
Sunglasses
Change
checkbook
tissues
keys
Advil
cell phone
calendar
a pen

okay lets move on to the good stuff

Things that make you go Hmmmm
2 pairs of used knee highs
4 DVD's from Netfilx (I LOVE Netflix)
1 return envelope for Netflix
4 receipts for Target (I hate Target why do I have 4 receipts?)
1 paint sample for a color I've decided against
1 Pacifier
A package of Staples
3 bills
A Coupon for Formula
Neosporin
The CD soundtrack to Once More With Feeling
1 barrette
Nail clippers
Nail file
2 toothpicks
a piece of paper with 4 of my cousins email addresses on it
Coupon for Bevmo (Sweet!)
1 lip liner
2 chap sticks (one tinted)
2 lipsticks
10 lip glosses

What is it with me & lip gloss?

Holly Crow

The little baby just rolled over on to her tummy on her own. Dave just put her to bed and after a few minutes she started crying and he went in to check and found her on her tummy. I'm excited but now I'm going to be paranoid all night that she's gonna smother herself. Ahhhhh!

Dave's Gonna Harvest the Corn Tonight. I'm Rethinking My Position on the Bunny Sacrafice

Would you like to know what I was doing at 2:30 this morning?

Feeding the baby? Nope but good guess.

Sleeping? Again a valiant effort but incorrect.

Having Sex? I wish!

Nope I was running around my back yard IN MY UNDERWEAR chasing bunnies.

They were out again this morning. This time I put on a bathrobe before beginning my pursuit. After returning them to the hutch I blocked their hole (again) and gave my mom instructions that if they get out during the day I'd like her to shoot them.....repeatedly.

Recommended because you added Tignanello Perfect 10 Pebble French Tote,Cloud,one size to your Wish List

http://www.amazon.com/LeapFrog-ClickStart-First-Computer-Adapter/dp/B000NVVO5G/ref=pd_ys_ir_all_29?pf_rd_p=258372101&pf_rd_s=center-1&pf_rd_t=1501&pf_rd_i=list&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1G7897P2T95EGQBRJ36T


Seriously WTF? I like a purse so you think I might also enjoy an adapter for an electronic item I don't own. Uh hu yeah that makes sense.

Interesting

When I hit spellcheck on that last post it didn't flag the word ballsy. I wouldn't have expected that to be in the dictionary.

Gettin' My Groove Back

While buying a bagel I just got totally scoped out by a guy who was probably 10 years younger than me. He was not subtle at all. Pretty ballsy since I was with Dave. Flatering though as I've still got a bit of baby weigh to loose.

If I Won the Lottery

I used to work in Petaluma CA and commute along Lakeville Highway every day. Lakeville is very pretty with vineyards and horse farms, the miniature horses garner a lot of attention. One the thing I loved was the thousands of lambs frolicking in the fields every spring. Frolicking is honestly the only word that accurately captures the joyful action of those fluffy little scamps.

My carpool buddy and I once came up with a daring plan to capture one and take it home to cuddle. Our plan went like this "I'll stop the car, you jump out grab a lamb and when you jump back in the car I'll peel out". Sadly we never put this plan in to action.

One year there was this adorable little black lamb on one of the small farms that I just fell in love with. Every day I would see him (her?) and it would make me feel that the world wasn't such a bad place to live after all. This made me wonder why although I occasionally saw black lambs I almost never say black sheep. I did a bit of research and found out to my horror that a lot of black lambs become lamb chops. Not MY lamb though it was a well loved pet. This is what I tell myself despite the fact that I no longer see it.

Apparently the issue is that they can't die the black wool so it's just easier to take the sheep out of the gene pool. There is a specialized market for black wool (it never fades) and some farmers will sell their black lambs/sheep to farms that specialize in black sheep. Others just name the animal dinner and move on.

Here's where my lottery winnings come in to play. If I was rich, I mean really rich, the kind where you can set up your own charities, I'd start a black sheep rescue farm or ranch or whatever. Obviously I'd have to hire a staff to take care of the animals because I have no clue what goes in to raising sheep. I'd put adds in Modern Sheppard or whatever magazines sheep farmers read offering to buy any black lambs they wind up with or trade if my black sheep produced white lambs (I'm not sure how that works). I would put an end to black sheep discrimination. In my world being the black sheep of the family would be a good thing.

Disclaimer: I found this image on the web. If I knew who it belonged to I'd ask permission and give them credit. Also if you google black sheep turns out I'm not the only person who loves these fluffy little cuties.

Here are My Findings.....I Have No Idea What They Mean

In CA they are supposedly going to begin enforcing the no talking on you cell phone without a hands free device law. This was supposed to begin 7/1 and Today is 7/8. They've had all these big signs up on the freeway for several weeks warning every one that "It's the Law" which is annoying because everyone has to slow down to read them. They can't take it for granted that this sign says the exact same thing as the last one you say a couple miles back, nope they have to slow down to the point where you are in danger of rear ending them. Yes this is an improvement in road safety.

Irritation with the signs aside I am in favor of this law. Pretty much every one I know thinks they are the exception who is capable of driving just fine while they chat. I'm just going to come out and say it NO YOU'RE NOT. Now I'm not a phone person any way so I get annoyed just on principal but I see people all the time talking away on their phones who are clearly oblivious to their surroundings, drifting in to other lanes, slowing down dangerously, tailgating, changing lanes without looking (my personal favorite as I've nearly been killed at least 3 times).

Last night as we were driving home I happened to see a lady on her phone so I jokingly pointed her out to Dave as a law breaker. Out of curiosity I started counting how many people I saw on their phones and how many I saw using hands free devices. I don't know how many miles it was. It was from Pinole to Fairfield if that helps you and took about 40 minutes. Here is what I found.

6 People on hands free devices

3 I think were on hands free as they were clearly talking but there wasn't anyone else in the car. They may have just been crazy.

3 People on the phone

2 Appeared to be dialing. They clearly weren't looking at the road.

1 guy with a hands free device in his left ear and his phone held to the right. I think maybe he didn't really understand the idea.

1 lady picking her nose.

Conversation in Bed Last Night

Me: It's hot

Dave: One of us can turn up the fan

Pause while we both hope the other one will volunteer

Me: Well I can't

Dave: Why not?

Me: 'Cause I'm wearing grannie panties and I don't want you to see them

Kids are Cute

Fiona is almost as fond of pictures as I am. I've got dozens up around the house and she likes to look at them while we tell her who they are "look it's your Auntie___" or "See that's Mommy and your in her tummy". I hung a ribbon board* over her changing table has some pictures on it that I thought she'd like. She's always very interested in looking at these while we change her but last night as I was getting her ready for bed she got this big grin on her face and started reaching for the picture of her two cousins. I like to think she recognized them but it might just be because they are children. I thought this was cute so I sent an email to my sister in law to tell her Fiona missed her kids. She responded that her youngest (about 22 mos) has a picture of Fiona that she likes to carry around every ware. If those two don't wind up being friends I'll be surprised.


*a ribbon board is a bit like a bulletin board but you tuck the pictures or whatever under the various ribbons that criss cross it rather than using pins.

My pretty girl

Dave took these yesterday in the studio he built in our garage. She was all smiley because she'd just gotten up (that's why she's in her jammies). I included the last one because I just love the squishy face and want to share it with the world.

Smokey

The corn (caaan) is ripe. Time for the harvest. We will need to decide who to sacrifice. I vote Smokey who is my least favorite of the bunnies.


Disclaimer: All references to sacrificing bunnies are meant to be humorous. No member of our household would ever intentionally harm an animal. The bunnies although annoying and destructive will be allowed to live out their little bunny lives in the safety and comfort of their hutch.

I Did Not Win the Loto

But I did get to learn how to use power tools so that's pretty sweet.

Happy 4th of July

Got my ticket

Let the fantasy's begin......

Oh wait not that kind he he.

Home Improvement

This weekend I'm going to TSP the whole Kitchen and sand the cupboards in preparation for painting. Eventually I want to get new flooring too and I'm going to make some accent pillows for the living room and put up some shelves and decorative items in both rooms. I thought if I wrote this all here I'd feel obligated to follow through.

Now I'm off to buy lotto tickets which will hopefully enable me to afford my projects. Nice thing about the lottery in the hours/days between buying the ticket and finding out you didn't win it's totally acceptable to fantasize about what you'd do with the money.

Our Nightly Conversation

Fiona: Mmmmm Ehhhhh daaa

Me: Say Mama

Fiona: Mmmm ehhhh

Me: ma ma ma ma ma ma

Fiona: giggle giggle squeal

Me: Mama (while patting my chest to show her what I mean)

Fiona: Dada

Dave: That's rite (with smug grin)

Me: Butt head

Hate to Admit it but it's True

http://www.buzzfeed.com/scott/how-californians-see-america via Kottke.org


Of coarse you could pick any other state & it would all be the same except they would think they were awesome & California was tan vegan homosexuals. I'm not any of those things but I will admit I like avocados.

Picky Eaters

I'm an extremely picky eater. Partly because some things just don't agree with me and partly because a lot of things are just pain nasty (tomatoes yick!). I fully expect Fiona to have her own opinions on what's good and Dave and I already have a strategy for dealing with it.

My Dad, my Brother and I all had very specific likes and dislikes and just to make it more fun food allergies. My Mom was strangely optimistic when it came to trying new recipes. I remember her making and thinking she was going to get us to eat bouillabaisse when I was about 8. She also had this one really foul recipes she made several times the main ingredients of which were tomato sauce and caned Mandarin oranges (tasted like vomit).

I know Fiona's going to refuse to eat some things which seem perfectly normal to me like Watermelon, mashed potatoes, or hot dogs. No wait that's my Dad, he's a freak.

Hi Mom! Hi Dad!

The New Pop Sensation

Every once in a while the universe does something just to make us laugh. While listening to the radio news this morning there was a story about some nut job in Israel using a bulldozer to injure a whole bunch of people (that part's not funny). However when they went to the clip from the reporter who witnessed it what we got was a story about a person who after completing his time in the Israeli army got a sex change made an album and is now the hot new pop star in Beirut.

Just One More of the Many Reasons I Love My Husband

This morning while we were eating breakfast Dave looked over at me and said suddenly "Fiona has your eyes!" in this strange almost romantic voice. I looked up startled to find him looking a little embarrassed, "not the color" he clarified, "the shape. When you're looking forward like that you look just like her".

Everyone including me thinks she looks just like Dave. There are moments when he does something and it's uncanny how much he and Fiona look a like. It always hits me with this almost overwhelming rush of emotion. I think Dave got a little bit of that this morning.

I didn't expect Fiona to be my twin or anything but I have been a little disappointed that we don't even look like were related. It makes my day whenever someone says they see me in her. I'm pretty sure Dave's aware of that and that's why we had that sweet slightly embarrassed moment over breakfast at IKEA.

Out of Charachter

We have a fire hydrant in our front yard. It's kinda nice because it actually lowers our home owners insurance. The down side however is that every once in a while someone parked in front of our house gets a ticket for parking in front of it. Yesterday they gave my Mom a ticket. She comes to our house every day to watch Fiona while we're at work. Since she is obviously doing us a huge favor we said we'd pay the ticket. I wrote the check for $25, put it in the envelope, and was going to stamp it when I noticed it was postage paid. That struck me as weird. I mean the government isn't usually that courteous. I guess they want their money.